“I scream for ice cream” (“I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream”)
"I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Ice Cream" is the title of a popular 1927 song. However, the spelling "I scream" for "ice cream" has been used in New York…
Food/Drink
“I scream. You scream. The police come. It’s awkward”
"I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream" is a popular chant. "I scream. You scream. The police come. It's awkward" is a jocular variation that has been printed…
“I see it. I like it. I want it. I check the price. I put it back”
"I see it. I like it. I want it. I check the price (tag). I put it back" is a shopping saying that has been printed on many images."I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it" is…
“I see the price of Oxo cubes has shot up again. The stock market’s gone crazy”
The Oxo company manufactures beef stock cubes, among other products. There have been several Oxo puns mentioning the "stock" market. "Retweeting @andrewsayer: I see the price of Oxo…
“I see way too many gardens without tiny bearded figurines. The gnomeless”
Many homes have garden gnomes. Homes that do not have them are "gnomeless." "It you lose a garden gnome are you gnomeless? #themoreyouknow" was posted on Twitter by The Knower…
“I see you have some graph paper. You must be plotting something”
People who use graph papers are always plotting something, or so the joke goes. "You should always be suspicious of people with graph paper. They're probably plotting something" was…
“I seen my opportunities and I took ‘em” & “Honest graft” (George Washington Plunkitt)
George Washington Plunkitt, a corrupt politician of Tammany Hall days, is known today for the term "honest graft" and the saying "I seen my opportunities and I took 'em."…
“I sell pies from my car. $2 for apple, $3 for pumpkin. These are the pie rates of the car I be in”
"Pie Rates of the Caribbean”—a pun on the Pirates of the Caribbean film series—has been printed on many images. A different version was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on January 14, 2019:…
“I set my alarm clock ahead to prevent being late…” (joke)
Many people who are constantly late set their clocks ahead to give them a few extra minutes. "I set my alarm clock ahead to prevent being late... But all it really did is sharpen my…
“I set my alarms extra early to make sure that I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up”
People usually set an alarm extra earlier if they want to do something, but that's not always the case. "I set my alarms extra early to make sure that I have enough time to lay in bed and…
“I sexually identify as a microwave dinner…” (joke)
"I sexually identify as a microwave dinner because I’m ready in 5 minutes but don’t look anything like my photos" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Lisa Marie on October 7,…
“I shop everywhere, but I buy on 14th Street”
"I shop everywhere, but I buy on 14th Street" is an old New York saying. There used to be many inexpensive stores on 14th Street (especially around Union Square), so New Yorkers could get…
“I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye”
"I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye" is a pun on the famous line in the Johnny Cash song "Folsom Prison Blues" (1953), "I shot a man in Reno, just to…
“I shot someone with a starting gun. I’ve been charged with race crime”
Is a crime at a running race a race crime? There's a joke: "I shot someone with a starting gun. I've been charged with race crime." The pun was cited on Twitter on October 7,…
“I should never have climbed into this vat of curdled milk. I’m in whey over my head”
"I should never have climbed into this vat of curdled milk, I'm in whey over my head" is a joke with a popular whey/way pun. The oneliner was posted on Twitter by Tony Cowards on…
“I should quit my job to focus on cooking dinner”
Dinner takes a lot of effort to prepare, and having a job can conflict with this. "Might quit my job to focus on cooking dinner every day for the rest of my life" was posted on X/Twitter…
“I should worry, I should care, I should marry a millionaire…”
"I should worry" became a famous slang phrase in the United States in 1912 and 1913. "I should worry. I should fret. I should marry a suffragette..." and "I should worry, I…
“I should worry. I should fret. I should marry a suffragette…”
"I should worry" became a famous slang phrase in the United States in 1912 and 1913. "I should worry. I should fret. I should marry a suffragette..." and "I should worry, I…
“I shouldn’t have had seafood because now I’m feeling a little eel”
"I knew I shouldn't have had the seafood because now I'm feeling a little eel" is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on many images. "You'll have to excuse me,…
“I signed up for Binary 101, but it turns out it’s a level 5 course”
Many introductory college courses end in "101." But what if the course is Binary 101? (101 is 5 in binary.) "I failed Binary 101.I said it was 6. http://bit.ly/1a78s7q via…