A dancer's career often involves injuries. Comedian Rita Rudner started as a dancer on Broadway, until she suffered an injury. "I pulled a groin muscle," Rudner said in 1988.…
"T-shirt" shouldn't be confused with "tea shirt," but there are jokes. "Got thrown out of Coffee Club. I turned up wearing a tea shirt" was posted on Twitter by…
"Stay positive" usually means to stay optimistic, but for a Covid test to "stay positive" means that the person still has the disease. The original authorship of a popular…
"I got mood poisoning. Must have been something I hate" (or "I got mood poisoning at work. It must be something I hate") -- a pun on "food poisoning" and…
"I got mood poisoning. Must have been something I hate" (or "I got mood poisoning at work. It must be something I hate") -- a pun on "food poisoning" and…
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in vaccines that usually required to shots. "Just got my first shot. I'll get my second one as soon as the bartender gets back down here"…
"I got my stomach doing crunches -- usually either Nestlé or Captain" (that is, Nestlé Crunch chocolate bars and Cap'n Crunch cereal) is a jocular statement that has been printed…
"I got myself a seniors' GPS. Not only does it tell me how to get to my destination, it tells me why I wanted to go there" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several…
When a police officer asks a driver "Do you know why I pulled you over?', the police officer knows the answer to the question -- or does he/she? This was posted on Twitter by Random Guy…
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in social distancing, but what about carpools? "I got pulled over for driving alone in the carpool lane. I said that due to social distancing my…
"I got so drunk last night, I walked across the dance floor to get another drink and won the dance contest" is a jocular saying that as been printed on many images. "Last night I was…
Entry in progress -- B.P. Twitter Sawyer Stone @FuckinnShiti sooooooo wasted I don't kno if I found some keys or lost a car2:19 PM - 26 Sep 2013 TwitterRyan @RyanGoodyerI'm so…
"I got so much procrastinating done today" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many images. "Got up early so I could get more procrastinating done today. Only managed…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic forced many people to stay at home in quarantine. "It's driving me crazy not going out. I was that pissed last night I don't remember getting home…
A bee stings, but it usually doesn't have a sting operation -- that is, to catch suckers. "IT'S early evening in a south London pub and Robbie Williams -- for so long dubbed `the…
"Monopoly money" (from the board game Monopoly
"Politics" is sometimes jocularly written as "polly tics," and there's a "polly" joke about "political correctness." "@DanRebellato *starts car*…
A teacher joke was posted by Jamie Tighe on Twitter on January 21, 2014: "I got voted 'Least Likely To Succeed' by my high school class. Christ I hate being a teacher." The joke…
"I gotta get my life together. This damn heat made me realize I can’t go to hell" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "It's hot af fam. This weather made…
AncestryDNA tests for ethnicity. A popular St. Patrick's Day joke is about a test for Irish roots. "I grew up all my life believing I was Irish. But thanks to http://ancestry.Com I now…