“I don’t like stairlifts. They drive me up the wall”
Do stairlifts drive people up a wall (an expression meaning "crazy")? "I don't think I would ever purchase a stairlift. They would drive me up the wall" was posted on…
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health
“I don’t like to brag, but I’ve been avoiding people since way before the coronavirus”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak caused many people to stay at home and to avoid being with other people. Antisocial people felt vindicated. A joke was posted on Twitter by Snarky Mommy on March…
“I don’t like to toot my own horn, which is why I steal other people’s trumpets”
"Toot one's own horn" (to promote one's self) is an idiomatic expression. It has little to do with actually playing horns, but there are jokes. "I don't like to toot…
“I don’t like whiny and cheesy people, but I do like wine and cheese people”
"I don’t like whiny and cheesy people, but I do like wine and cheese people" is a jocular one-line wine-and-cheese saying that has been printed on several images. The saying has been…
“I don’t make mistakes. I make spicy decisions”
"I don’t make mistakes. I make spicy decisions" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I don’t make mistakes, only spicy decisions" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“I don’t necessarily know the secret to happiness, but I do know Jesus and Mexican food…”
"I don't know the secret to happiness, but I've never been sad at a Mexican restaurant" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "I don’t necessarily know the…
“I don’t need a stable relationship. All I need is a stable internet connection”
"I don’t need a stable relationship. All I need is a stable internet connection" is an internet saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on October…
“I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope for the best”
"I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope for the best" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "No, I don't really 'rise and shine.' Most…
“I don’t think I’ve ever cleaned my bathroom mirror, which reflects badly on me”
Something that "reflects badly" on someone is usually not meant literally, but there are jokes. "I need to look at cleaning my bathroom mirror its really dirty. It reflects badly on…
“I don’t think the Renaissance Festival should be closed, because having a real plague there…”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic cancelled many entertainments. "I don’t think the Renaissance Festival should be closed, because having a real life plague there will add to the…
“I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they got a WHOLE outside!!”
"I don't understand why bugs come inside when they got the WHOLE OUTSIDE" is a saying that has been printed on many images "Bugs Have so much outside, why they so pressed to…
“I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves”
"I don't understand why bugs come inside when they got the WHOLE OUTSIDE" is a saying that has been printed on many images "Bugs Have so much outside, why they so pressed to…
“I don’t understand why people say hurtful things, like ‘Want to go for a run?’ or ‘Try this kale’”
"I don’t understand why people say hurtful things, like 'Want to go for a run?' or 'Try this kale'" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I…
“I don’t want to be a millionaire, I just want enough money to be able to stare off…” (joke)
"I don’t want to be a millionaire. I just want enough money to be able to stare off into the distance while pumping my gas" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I…
“I don’t work on Fridays, I make appearances”
"I don’t work on Fridays, I make appearances" is a jocular Friday saying that has been printed on many images. "I don’t work on Fridays… I make appearances" was posted on…
“I donut know what I’d do without you”
"Donut" doesn't sound like "do not," but there are puns. "I donut know what I'd do without you" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I donut understand food puns”
"I donut (do not) understand food puns" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "i Donut understand food puns" was posted on Twitter on January 28,…
“I doubt vodka is the answer, but it’s worth a shot”
"I doubt vodka is the answer, but it's worth a shot" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, T-shirts and ecards. "Tequila…
“I drank so much coffee today that I accidentally believed in myself”
"I drank so much coffee today that I accidentally believed in myself" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I drank so much coffee today that I…
“I drank so much tequila last night I woke up with a Mexican accent”
"I drank so much tequila last night that I woke up speaking Spanish" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I drank so much tequila this weekend, my liver speaks…