“I asked the hot girl at my gym what her new year’s resolution was” (joke)
A new year's resolution joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on December 12, 2016: "Today i asked the hot girl at my gym what her New Year's resolution was. She said 'fuck…
A new year's resolution joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on December 12, 2016: "Today i asked the hot girl at my gym what her New Year's resolution was. She said 'fuck…
A hotel "wake-up call" is usually a morning wake-up call, but some jokes have it as a "wake-up call" for one's life. "I asked the hotel receptionist for a wake-up…
McDonald's "Shamrock Shake" is a green mint flavored milkshake, offered in March to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. The milkshake contains no shamrocks. "I asked the 16 year…
A popular food joke has a man tell a waitress that he wants a "quickie." She slaps him. Another diner tells the man, "I think that's pronounced 'quiche.'" The…
A jocular comment about parenting on an airplane is: "Asked to switch seats on the plane because I was sitting next to a crying baby. Apparently, that's not allowed if the baby is…
"I assume people who don't drink coffee just die around 2 p.m." (or "I assume that people who don't drink coffee all die around 2 p.m.") is a coffee saying that has…
"I assume people who don't drink coffee just die around 2 p.m." (or "I assume that people who don't drink coffee all die around 2 p.m.") is a coffee saying that has…
"I ate a kid's meal at Macdonalds earlier today. His mum was furious" was posted on Facebook by Rob Savant on November 9, 2020. "I ate a kid's meal at McDonalds this…
Manhattan-born comedian George Carlin (1937-2008) wrote in his bestselling book, Brain Droppings (1997): "The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument…
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Mary Poppins (film)Mary Poppins is a 1964 American musical fantasy comedy film directed by Robert Stevenson and produced by Walt Disney, with songs written and…
"I ate four cans of alphabet soup and had the biggest vowel movement ever" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on posters and ecards. The "vowel movement" (vowel…
Boiled okra has a reputation for being slimy. Many people survived on okra in the depression years of the 1930s, and the phrase arose: "I ate so much okra I slid out of bed!" Some people…
A joke about "passing" a test was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 26, 2019: "I ate the exam paper. Which means that sooner or later I will pass the test." Reddit --…
"Overdoughse" (overdose + dough) is a jocular word to describe what might occur from eating too much cookie/pizza dough. "Approaching cookie overdoughse" was posted on Twitter…
"Falafel" sounds like "feel awful," prompting the pun: "I ate too much Middle Eastern food and now I falafel." "Clever pun. Now I falafel" was cited in a…
"I avoid Twitter drama by being unpopular" is a joke that was posted on X/Twitter by Man of Letters on December 17, 2021, and again on X/Twitter on June 20, 2024. The joke implies that…
"I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four" -- the first numbers are odds, but the second numbers are a time (it took the horse over three hours to run the…
"I bake because punching people is frowned upon" is a baking saying that has been printed on many images. "I Bake Because Punching Is Frowned Upon" was posted on Twitter by Sian…
"drinking water in front of my plants so they remember who the breadwinner is" was posted on Twitter by farah mynaf ☾ on March 11, 2022. The tweet went viral and received over 218,000…
"I drive home so quick after work like I'm late for the house" is a saying that has been printed on many imaes. Some people can't wait to get home after a day's work.…