“How did the cheesemaker paint his wife?”/“He Double Gloucester.”
"Double Gloucester" is a cheese, but it sounds like "double glossed her." "I missed all that, 'cos I was giving my sister two coats of paint. Yes, I double glossed…
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health
“How did the egg cross the road?”/“It scrambled across.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. An egg version is: Q: How did the egg cross the road?A: It scrambled…
“How did the eggs leave the highway?”/“They went through the ‘eggs-it’.”
An egg riddle (popular at Easter) is: Q: How did the eggs leave the highway?A: They went through the "eggs-it." The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. Google BooksFunny…
“How did the eggs leave the highway?”/“They went through the ‘eggs-it’.”
An egg riddle (popular at Easter) is: Q: How did the eggs leave the highway?A: They went through the "eggs-it." The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. Google BooksFunny…
“How did the Eskimo build his house?”/“Igloo-d it together.”
"Igloo" can sound like the words "he glue." A joke was printed in the book The Father Christmas: It's a Blooming Terrible Joke Book (1994): "Have you heard about the…
“How did the gingerbread man wind up with one leg?”/“He lost the other in Nom.”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- DadjokesPosted by u/MelkorHimself December 21, 2019How did the gingerbread man wind up with one leg?He lost the other in Nom.
“How did the hipster burn his tongue?” (joke)
"How did the hipster burn his tongue?" is a popular joke, with the answer being that the hipster had coffee or pizza "before it was cool." "I tried being a hipster by…
“How did the hipster drown?”/“He went ice skating before it was cool.”
A hipster riddle has been printed on several images: Q: How did the hipster drown?A: He went ice skating before it (the lake -- ed.) was cool. The riddle is funny only if the listener knows that it…
“How did the Irish jig get started?”/“Lots of beer and only one bathroom.”
A popular St. Patrick's Day joke about Irish dancing is: Q: How did the Irish jig get started?A: Lots of beer and only one bathroom. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1996.…
“How did the jury find the hamburger?”/“Grill-ty as charred.”
A hamburger riddle is: Q: How did the jury find the hamburger?A: Grill-ty as charred. The hamburger joke has been cited in print since at least 1978. “What did the hamburger say when it pleaded…
“How did the math teacher kill himself?”/“He used a hypotenuse.”
There isn't a "noose" in "hypotenuse," but this math riddle was posted on Twitter on May 13, 2013: Q: How did the math professor kill himself?A: He used a hypotenuse. A…
“How did the Mayflower show that it liked America?”/“It hugged the shore.”
Do ships "hug" the shore? A popular Thanksgiving riddle is: Q: How did the Mayflower show that it liked America? A: It hugged the shore. The Thanksgiving joke has been cited in print…
“How did the old French cheese-maker die?”/“From age.”
"Fromage" (French for "cheese") has nothing to do with the English words "from age," but there are jokes. "A One hundred year old man died after eating some…
“How did the person who invented the first clock know what time it was?”
People set their clocks and watches to other ones, leading to a joke: "How did the person who invented the first clock know what time it was?" "How did the person who invented the…
“How did the programmer die in the shower?”/“The shampoo bottle read: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.”
A classic programming joke is: Q: How did the programmer die in the shower?A: By following the instructions on the shampoo bottle: "Lather. Rinse. Repeat." The programming joke was posted…
“How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?”/“He could feel it in his bones.”
A popular Halloween riddle about skeletons is: Q: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?A: He could feel it in his bones. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Google…
“How did the vegan fix her flat?”/“A spare I guess.”
"A spare I guess" for "asparagus" is a pun that has been printed on several images. A bowling "spare" asparagus pun is the most popular. "The joke will have…
“How did the wine glass get home?”/“A cab.”
A cab (a taxi) should not be confused with a Cab (Cabernet Sauvignon), but there are jokes. "Went to a lovely wine tasting and took a cab home. very indulgent" was posted on Twitter on…
“How did the wine glass get home?”/“A cab.”
A cab (a taxi) should not be confused with a Cab (Cabernet Sauvignon), but there are jokes. "Went to a lovely wine tasting and took a cab home. very indulgent" was posted on Twitter on…
“How did the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?”/“He was dead lifting.”
There are several "zombie bodybuilder" jokes. "Newspaper Headline: ZOMBIE BODYBUILDER DOES THE DEADLIFT" was printed in the book Funny Shaped Balls: The Biggest Book of Sporting…