“Drugs End All Dreams” (“dead” backronym)
"Drugs End All Dreams" is a backronym (back acronym) of the word "dead" that has been printed on many images. "Drugs End All Dreams" was printed in Newsday (Long…
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health
“Drugs: Responsible for teaching Americans the metric system”
"Drugs: Responsible for teaching Americans the metric system" is a jocular saying that has been printed on bumper stickers are T-shirts. "Drugs are responsible for teaching Americans…
“Drunk as a skunk”
"Drunk as a skunk" means to be highly inebriated. Skunks aren't particularly known for drinking; the saying exists because of the rhyme. "Drunk as a skunk" has been cited…
“Drunk is when you feel sophisticated, but can’t pronounce it”
“You’re drunk when you feel sophisticated and can’t pronounce it" is a jocular one-liner from the New York City humor magazine The Judge in 1937. "Drunk is when you feel…
“Drunk people run stop signs. High people wait for them to turn green”
"Drunk people run stop signs. High people (stoners) wait for them to turn green" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "You know the old joke: 'Drunk drivers…
“Dry January is going well for me so far. I’ve not had a bath or a shower yet”
"Dry January" means a January without alcohol. It does not mean staying dry (without taking a bath or a shower), but there are jokes. "Looks like my attempt to have a dry January has…
“Dry pet food is basically meat cereal” (“Dog food is just meat cereal”)
Dry pet food, such as dog food, has often been described as "meat cereal." "Sometimes I catch myself eating the dog food. With a little milk it's like meat cereal" was…
“Dry salad is a problem that needs addressing”
"Addressing" can sound like "a dressing" and, of course, there are salad dressing jokes. "Dry salad is a problem that needs addressing" was posted on Twitter by Jake…
“Dude on tv just said, ‘Where there’s fat, there’s flavor.’ He was talking about food, but…”
"Where there's fat, there's flavor" is a food saying, but some fat people appreciate it. "Where's there's fat there's flavor. Fuckit,a compliment is a…
“Dudes living off their girls government assistance trying to act tough. Calm down John WIC”
Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children (WIC) has nothing to do with the American neo-noir action film series and media franchise John Wick, but there are jokes. The…
“Dudes quick to say women don’t cook like grandma used to but y’all don’t pay bills like grandpa”
"Dudes quick to say women don't cook like grandma use to but y'all don't pay bills like grandpa used to either" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Due to corona virus, I will not shake hands or hug. You may kneel or bow to me”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made many people refrain from handshakes and hugs. "Due to corona virus I will not shake hands or hug... you may kneel or bow to me.., either will be…
“Due to COVID-19, we are asking looters to work from home and steal their own property”
During the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, many people were asked to work from home. "I wish all of the violent rioters and looters would work from home. #Peacefulprotest" was posted on…
“Due to COVID-19, we are asking protesters to work from home and destroy their own property”
During the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, many people were asked to work from home. "I wish all of the violent rioters and looters would work from home. #Peacefulprotest" was posted on…
“Due to COVID-19, we are asking rioters to work from home and destroy their own property”
During the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, many people were asked to work from home. "I wish all of the violent rioters and looters would work from home. #Peacefulprotest" was posted on…
“Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late”
"Due to unforeseen circumstances not within my control, I will be late" is a saying that might be acceptable for work. A joke on this was posted on Twitter by stoned cold fox on May 3,…
“Due to inflation and food price increases, the 5 second rule has been extended to 10 seconds”
The “five-second rule” states that if food falls on the floor, it’s still good to eat if you pick it up within five seconds. The “rule,” however, has been debunked. Some people jocularly…
“Due to inflation, Dollar Tree is changing its name to Dollar Tree-Fiddy”
"Due to inflation I hear Dollar tree is changing their name to Tree fiddy!" was posted on Twitter by Kumioko on January 22, 2022. "Due to inflation and rising gas prices, Dollar Tree…
“Due to inflation, Dollar Tree will be changing its name to Tree Dollar”
"Due to inflation I hear Dollar tree is changing their name to Tree fiddy!" was posted on Twitter by Kumioko on January 22, 2022. "Due to inflation and rising gas prices, Dollar Tree…
“Due to panic buying, Walmart has opened a second register”
Walmart stores have a reputation for not having enough registers open. "Due to panic buying, Walmart has opened a second register" is a joke that has been printed on many images. The joke…