“Don’t drink and drive—you might hit a bump and spill your drink”
"Don't drink and drive -- you might hit a bump and spill your drink" is a jocular saying that has been printed on gift items, such as T-shirts, bumper stickers and posters. The…
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health
“Don’t drink and park. Accidents cause people”
"Don't drink and park. Accidents cause people" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Don't drink and park, accidents cause people" was posted on…
“Don’t drink to drown your sorrows—sorrows know how to swim”
"Don't drink to drown your sorrows -- sorrows know how to swim" is a humorous saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters and bumper stickers. The "Ask Ann…
“Don’t drink water while studying. Chemistry says that concentration decreases on adding water”
"Don't drink water while studying because chemistry says that concentration decreases on adding water" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The joke is that…
“Don’t drink with ghosts. They can’t handle their boos”
"Boos" sounds like "booze," prompting the pun: "Don't drink with ghosts. They can't handle their boos." The joke has been cited on Twitter since December 9,…
“Don’t eat anything your great-grandmother wouldn’t recognize as food”
"Don't eat anything your great-grandmother wouldn't recognize as food" is a saying that has been printed on many images. American author Michael Pollan said this in an interview…
“Don’t eat radioactive food. You’ll get atomic ache”
"Atomic ache" sounds a bit like "a tummy ache." "Eating uranium can cause atomic ache" was posted on the newsgroup Google Groups: rec.humor on April 22, 1991.…
“Don’t eat the yellow snow”
Snow is white; "yellow snow" is snow that is urinated on. "Don't Eat the Yellow Snow" was popularized as a song title on Frank Zappa's album, Apostrophe ( ' )…
“Don’t Even THINK of Parking Here,” “No Parking, No Standing, No Stopping, No Kidding”
These two signs both date from 1982. As many of you know, I am a parking judge. I have never seen a summons for "thinking" or "kidding," however. 15 June 1982, New York Times,…
“Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how many chocolate chips to put in”
"Don't ever let a recipe tell you how many chocolate chips to put in. You measure that shit with your heart" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Don’t ever let…
“Don’t ever underestimate the heart of a champion.” (Houston Rockets coach Rudy Tomjanovich)
The 1995 Rudy Tomjanovich-coached Houston Rockets basketball team were defending NBA champions, but they entered the NBA playoffs with a low seed after a poor regular season. The Rockets went on to…
“Don’t expect what you don’t inspect” (management adage)
"Don't expect what you don't inpect" (also "Never expect what you don't inspect" or "You can't expect what you don't inspect") is from The…
“Don’t fail to miss tomorrow’s game”
American baseball pitcher and broadcaster Dizzy Dean (1910-1974) was known for his colorful use of language. He sometimes ended his shows with: "Fans, don't fail to miss tomorrow's…
“Don’t fart in an Apple store. They don’t have Windows”
"Don't fart in an Apple store. They don't have Windows" is a computer joke that has been printed on many images. "I just dropped a horrific fart in the Apple Store.…
“Don’t fart in an Apple store. They don’t have Windows”
"Don't fart in an Apple store. They don't have Windows" is a computer joke that has been printed on many images. "I just dropped a horrific fart in the Apple Store.…
“Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today”
"Don't fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "Don't fear FAILURE. Fear…
“Don’t feed me bullshit and tell me it’s ice cream”
"Don't feed me bullshit/crap/manure/shit and tell me it's ice cream" means "Don't give me something bad and tell me it's a special treat." The expression has…
“Don’t feed me crap and tell me it’s ice cream”
"Don't feed me bullshit/crap/manure/shit and tell me it's ice cream" means "Don't give me something bad and tell me it's a special treat." The expression has…
“Don’t feed me manure and tell me it’s ice cream”
"Don't feed me bullshit/crap/manure/shit and tell me it's ice cream" means "Don't give me something bad and tell me it's a special treat." The expression has…
“Don’t feed me shit and tell me it’s ice cream”
"Don't feed me bullshit/crap/manure/shit and tell me it's ice cream" means "Don't give me something bad and tell me it's a special treat." The expression has…