“Do I misuse contractions? Yes, but it’s what it’s”
"It is what it is" is a popular phrase. "It's what it's" is used in contraction jokes. "Do I misuse contractions? Yes, but it's what it's" was…
Sports/Games
“Do I run? Yes. Out of patience, fucks and money”
"Do you run? Yes. Out of patience, fucks and money" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images -- especially running shirts. "Do I run?Yes. Out of patience,fucks and…
“Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?”
"Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?" is a joke that has been credited to comedian John Mendoza since at least 1988. Alphabet soup contains letter-shaped pasta and…
“Do it today or regret it tomorrow”
"Do it today or regret it tomorrow" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today" is the old proverb that is…
“Do it tomorrow. You’ve made enough mistakes for today”
"Do it tomorrow. You've made enough mistakes (for) today" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Mrs. Harper Richards is bemused by the motto: 'Do it tomorrow…
“Do it tomorrow. You’ve made enough mistakes today”
"Do it tomorrow. You've made enough mistakes (for) today" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Mrs. Harper Richards is bemused by the motto: 'Do it tomorrow…
“Do leprechauns make good secretaries?”/“Sure, they’re great at shorthand!”
A leprechaun joke is: Q: Do leprechauns make good secretaries?A: Sure, they're great at shorthand! The "shorthand" pun has been cited in print since at least 2001. Kidsjokes.co.uk…
“Do locksmiths count as key workers?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in classifications of some people as "essential workers" (in the US) or "key workers" (in the UK). "LOCKSMITHS. Take advantage…
“Do midgets have to stay only 3 feet apart?” (social distancing)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in social distancing. People were told to stay at least six feet apart. "Thinking out loud here: since we have to stay 6ft apart do midgets have to…
“Do more things that make you forget to check your phone”
Many people check their phones constantly. "Do more things that make you forget to check your phone" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Be around people who make you…
“Do nice things for people. Not because of who they are, or what you might get in return, but because of who you are”
"Be kind to people. Not because they're nice, but because you are" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means to be kind,whether it is appreciated or not.…
“Do no harm, but take no shit”
"Do no harm, (but) take no shit" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "It comes down to this: Take no shit, do no harm. That's what the…
“Do no harm, take no shit”
"Do no harm, (but) take no shit" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "It comes down to this: Take no shit, do no harm. That's what the…
“Do not adjust your set”
In the early days of television, both the transmission and the television sets performed poorly. A broadcast frequently announced "Please do not adjust your receiver/set" to explain a…
“Do not ask God to guide your footsteps if you’re not willing to move your feet”
"Do not ask God to guide your footsteps if you're not willing to move your feet" is a saying that has been printed on many posters. "Do not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps,…
“Do not ask me for life advice. You will end up with a new dog”
"Do not ask me for life advice. You will end up with a new dog" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many people believe that dogs make life better. "Do not ask me for…
“Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood! Those are your neighbors…”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic closed most barbershops and salons. People were quarantined in their homes, where they dressed informally. "DO NOT call the police on suspicious people in…
“Do not drink and drive, because there are people out there who text and drive”
"Do not drink and drive, because there are people out there who text and drive and they will hit you and it will be your fault" was posted on Twitter by Shawn on November 11, 2013. The…
“Do not drink and wrap presents. Also, if anyone gets a remote for Christmas…”
"Do not drink and wrap presents! Also if anyone gets a remote control for Christmas, I’m going to need that back!" was posted on Twitter by Yankee Jenn (and others) on December 15,…
“Do not honk at me. My life is worthless. I will kill us both” (bumper sticker)
"Do not honk at me. My life is worthless. I will kill us both" is a jocular bumper sticker that has been printed on many images. The bumper sticker is meant to be a joke. "do NOT…