“Did you hear about the dancer’s birthday? It was a tappy one!”
A joke about a dancer's birthday has been printed on an image: "Did you hear about the dancer's birthday? It was a tappy one!" The "tappy" birthday saying has been…
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“Did you hear about the English teacher who went to jail?” (joke)
A joke about English teachers is: "Did you hear about the English teacher who went to jail? She got a full sentence." The pun was cited on Twitter on August 5, 2013. “I wanted to marry…
“Did you hear about the farmer who made gloves out of herbs? He had way too much thyme on his hands”
"Thyme" (an aromatic perennial evergreen herb) has had many "time" puns. "After a day of removing ground cover in the garden without gloves, I am left with too much thyme…
“Did you hear about the funeral home that closed? Apparently business was dead”
The expression "business is dead" is usually not taken literally, but there are some jokes. "I have a friend who just got a job as an attendant at a funeral home...he informed me…
“Did you hear about the ghost comedian? He was booed off stage”
"Did you hear about the ghost comedian? He was booed off stage" is a popular ghost pun. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. 25 October 2003, Evening Mail (Birmingham,…
“Did you hear about the guy who cooled himself to absolute zero? He’s 0K now”
A science joke about the Kelvin scale has been printed on several images: "Did you hear about the guy who cooled himself to absolute zero? He's 0K now." The joke was first posted on…
“Did you hear about the guy who evaporated? He’ll be mist!”
"Mist" sounds like "missed," and there are puns. "Did you hear about the guy who evaporated? He’ll be mist!" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on June 11, 2022.…
“Did you hear about the guy who got arrested for stealing hay? He made bale”
"Bail" shouldn't be confused with "bale," but there are jokes. "I got arrested yesterday for stealing hay from a farmer. I’ve been refused bale" was posted on…
“Did you hear about the guy who made a fortune investing in Apple? He was in cider trading”
"In cider trading" is a pun on "insider trading." "I was thrown out of the London Stock Exchange for standing in a bucket of Scrumpy, apparently there's rules against…
“Did you hear about the guy with an irrational fear of buffets? He couldn’t help himself”
An irrational fear of buffets is called "zumgphobia." "You hear about the guy with the irrational fear of buffets? He couldn't help himself" is a joke that was posted on…
“Did you hear about the haunted health food store? Everything is super-natural”
A Halloween riddle about health food was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor on October 15, 1998: Q: Why do ghosts eat only the finest quality health food?A: Because it's super-natural. A health…
“Did you hear about the houses that fell in love? It was a lawn distance relationship”
"Lawn distance relationship" is a pun on the term "long distance relationship." "People always said I should have dated the girl next door. I'm glad I didn't, I…
“Did you hear about the Italian chef? He pasta way”
It's one of the most popular of pasta puns: "Did you hear about the Italian chef? he pasta way." "Pasta way" was cited in a 1967 newspaper. "Did you hear about the…
“Did you hear about the jurisprudence fetishist? He got off on a technicality”
Some accused criminals "get off on a technicality" -- the charges might have been filed after the statute of limitations, for example. The accused criminals might have been guilty of the…
“Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? He’s awake now”
A popular joke involves a pun on the word "kidnapping" ("kid napping"). "Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? He's awake now." "Okay so today ther…
“Did you hear about the lobster that got the job at Pizza Hut? He works in the crust station”
"Crustacean" sounds like "crust station." "New restaurant idea: The Crust Station, home of the lobster pizza" was posted on Twitter by Alex Mansfield on December 30,…
“Did you hear about the man who evaporated? He will be mist”
"Mist" sounds like "missed," and there are puns. "Did you hear about the guy who evaporated? He’ll be mist!" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on June 11, 2022.…
“Did you hear about the man who invented Life Savers? He made a mint”
A person who "makes a mint" makes a lot of money -- as if owning the mint. A classic joke about Life Savers candies is: "Did you hear about the man who invented Life Savers? He made…
“Did you hear about the man who invented Polos? They say he made a mint”
Polo Mints were first made in the United Kingdom in 1948. To "make a mint" means to make a lot of money. "I wish i was the guy who invented Polo's, i bet he made a mint" is…
“Did you hear about the man who jumped in the Hudson River? He committed sewercide”
The Hudson River -- especially around New York City -- has a reputation of pollution. A joke is: "Did you hear about the man who jumped in the Hudson River? He committed sewercide." The…