“How do you get an actor off your front porch?” (joke)
Many jokes have been told about unemployed actors. One popular joke is: Q: How do you get an actor off your front porch?A: Pay him for the pizza. The joke has been cited in print since at least…
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“Criminal Law: See bad people at their best; Family Law: See good people at their worst”
Criminal lawyers and family lawyers have a popular saying: "Criminal lawyers see bad people at their best, and divorce lawyers see good people at their worst." It's not known who…
“A man’s health can be judged by which he takes two at a time: pills or stairs”
"A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time: pills or stairs" is a popular one-line saying about fitness. "The condition of a man can be judged by what he…
“There’s always room for dessert”
"There's always room for dessert" is a popular saying at the dinner table. "There is always room for ice cream" was cited in print in 1901. "Always room for cake"…
“There’s always room for Jell-O”
"There's always room for dessert" is an old saying used at many meals. "There's always room for Jell-O" is a popular Jell-O brand gelatin slogan that was introduced in…
“Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody”
"I'll stick with gin. Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody," said the character "Hawkeye" Pierce in an episode ot the TV series M*A*S*H that aired on March 18,…
Spine of Texas (Interstate 35)
Interstate 35 (I-35) runs for 407 miles through Texas, going through such cities as San Antonio, Austin, Waco and Dallas. I-35 has been nicknamed the "spine of Texas" since at least the…
Snoopy Bowl (Giants vs. Jets at MetLife Stadium)
MetLife acquired the naming rights to the New Meadowlands Stadium -- where the New York Giants and New York Jets play football -- in 2011, renaming it MetLife Stadium. The Giants and Jets play an…
“Don’t wail on the scale if you cheat when you eat”
"Don't wail on the scale if you cheat when you eat" is a jocular saying that has been printed on posters. The saying has been cited in print since at least 1976 and is of unknown…
“Aerobics: a series of strenuous exercises…”
"Aerobics: a series of strenuous exercises which help convert fats, sugars, and starches into aches, pains, and cramps" is a jocular one-line saying about aerobics. The line has been…
“What line of work should you recommend to an alcoholic, scruffy bum with an attitude?” (joke)
Celebrity chefs often have a reputation for being very unpleasant in the kitchen. “What line of work should you recommend to an alcoholic, scruffy bum with an attitude? Well, a celebrity chef…
“What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to”
"What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to" is a popular quotation of uncertain origin. It has been cited in print since at least 1948, shen it was included in a…
“One of my chief regrets is that I couldn’t sit in the audience and watch me act”
John Barrymore (1882-1942) was an American actor of stage and screen. The following barrymore comment was cited in print in 1938 about his many years in the theatre: "One of my chief regrets…
“I went to the corner shop—bought four corners” (joke)
"Went to the corner shop -- bought four corners" is on several lists of the funniest jokes of all time. The joke has been credited to British prop comedian Tommy Cooper (1921-1984), but…
New York’s Biggest Little Zoo (Staten Island Zoo)
The Staten Island Zoo opened in 1936 and is only 8 acres -- much smaller than the 265-acre Bronx Zoo. The Staten Island Zoo has been called New York's "biggest little zoo" since at…
“I hit two great balls on the golf course—I stepped on a rake” (joke)
An old joke has a golfer say this after a bad round of golf: "I hit two great balls on the golf course -- I stepped on a rake at the sand trap." The joke has been cited in print in 1985,…
“Everyone looks good in shorts” (football adage)
Football players wear shorts for light practices, without hitting. "Everyone looks good in shorts" means that players can't be properly evaluated during these light practices.…
“Cake solves everything”
"Cake solves everything" is a jocular saying of unknown authorship. This saying implies that if people sit down and eat cake, everyone will be in a better mood and arguments will cease.…
“There are two types of windows—windows that leak and windows that will leak”
Joseph Lstiburek is a forensic engineer; EcoHome magazine called him the "father of building science." Lstiburek wrote in Fine Homebuilding (April/May 2004): "There are only two…
“The best gun is the one you have with you”
People who carry a handgun for protection often want to know if they're carrying the correct weapon. "The best gun is the one you have with you" is a popular saying. "The best…