“Why did God invent lawyers?” (lawyer joke)
One popular lawyer joke is: Q. Why did God invent lawyers?A. So that realtors would have someone to look down on. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1998. Google Groups:…
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“Why did God invent lawyers?” (real estate agent joke)
Lawyers and real estate agents have bad reputations, as told in many jokes. One popular joke is: Q. Why did God invent lawyers?A. So that realtors would have someone to look down on. The joke has…
“What are lawyers good for?” (lawyer joke)
One popular lawyer joke is: Q. What are lawyers good for? A. They make used car salesmen look good. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1992. Google Groups: rec.humorLawyer JokesSlime…
“A politician will find an excuse to get out of anything, except office”
"A politician will find an excuse to get out of anything, except office" is a popular remark about politics. The saying has been cited in print since at least 1926. 14 July 1926, San…
“Parsley has pointed leaves; cilantro has curved leaves”
Parsley and cilantro (or coriander) can be difficult to identify. A rule f thumb is that the "P" in "parsley" stands for "pointed" leaves, while the "C" in…
“What’s the difference between p—and parsley?”/“Nobody eats parsley.”
Parsley is often used as a decoration on a plate, and not to be eaten. A popular off-color joke is: Q: What's the difference between parsley and pussy?A: Nobody eats parsley. The joke has been…
People’s House (Gracie Mansion)
Manhattan's Gracie Mansion, built in 1799, has been the mayor's official residence since Mayor Fiorello H. LaGuardia moved there in 1942. Mayor Michael Bloomberg declined to live there,…
Little White House (Gracie Mansion)
Manhattan's Gracie Mansion, built in 1799, has been the mayor's official residence since Mayor Fiorello H. LaGuardia moved there in 1942. Mayor Michael Bloomberg declined to live there,…
Devil’s Playhouse (Webster Hall)
Webster Hall, at 125 East 11th Street in Manhattan, was built in 1886 and has held some notorious events. "WEBSTER HALL -- The Devil's Playhouse" was advertised in the January 1918…
“Jones” (a craving) and Great Jones Alley/Street
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Great Jones StreetGreat Jones Street is a street in New York City's NoHo district in Manhattan, essentially another name for 3rd Street between Broadway…
“Owning a funeral home means you go back to work after you die”
"Owning a funeral home means you go back to work after you die" was cited on Reddit's Shower Thoughts on January 4. 2016. But do you really go back to work at the funeral home or do…
“A baby can drink a bottle, fall asleep and people say it’s cute. If I do it. I’m an alcoholic”
"A baby drinks a bottle and falls asleep and it's totally fine. I drink a bottle and fall asleep and I'm an alcoholic. Totally unfair" is a jocular saying that has been printed…
“A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular pirate version is: "A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his…
“A baby seal walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular seal joke is: "A baby seal walks into a bar. The bartender says,…
“A pirate walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular pirate version is: "A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking…
“What was the geometry student looking for at the beach?”/“A tangent.”
The word "tangent" is connected with an obvious math pun: Q: What was the geometry student looking for at the beach?A: A tangent. The joke was cited on Twitter on April 8, 2009. Google…
“I asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me!”
A popular and obvious pun on "bank balance" was cited in print by at least 2006: "Went to the cash machine yesterday - an old and confused lady asked me to help check her balance -…
“On what kind of ships do students study?”/“Scholarships.”
There's a pun about student scholarships: Q: On what kind of ships do students study? A: Scholarships. The children's pun has been cited in print since at least 1976. Google BooksBiggest…
“A loaf of bread, a pound of meat, and all the mustard you can eat!” (hot dogs)
An old cry of the hot dog seller was: "A loaf of bread, a pound of meat, and all the mustard you can eat!" The seller would then cry out "Frankfurters!" or "Hot dogs!"…
“Where do math teachers go on vacation?”/“To Times Square.”
A New York City-related math joke is: Q: Where do math teachers go on vacation?A: To Times Square. The joke was cited on Twitter on July 1, 2011. Wikipedia: Times SquareTimes Square is a major…