“Humans eat more bananas than monkeys” (joke)
People eat more bananas than monkeys. Rab Livingstone tweeted on March 2, 2015: "People in the UK eat more bananas than monkeys. In 2014 they ate 73,432,384 bananas and only 6 monkeys." A…
Archive for /P27940
“How do bees get to school?”/“On the school buzz.”
A popular children's pun about school is: Q: How do bees get to school? A: By school buzz! The children's joke has been cited in print since at least 1992. 15 June 1992, Indiana (PA)…
“Why did the student bring scissors to school?”/“He wanted to cut class.”
One children's pun about school is: Q: Why did the student bring scissors to school?A: He wanted to cut class. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2005. 2 February 2005, Los…
“Why did the child study in the airplane?”/“He wanted a higher education.”
A joke was told about "higher education: in 1991: Q: Why did the little moron take a ladder to school?A: He wanted to get a higher education! The "ladder" was changed to an…
“There was an explosion at the cheese factory. De brie was everywhere”
A popular cheese pun involving brie is: "There was an explosion at the cheese factory. De Brie was everywhere." "And in stumbled right into the cheese minefield. Brie…
“Go where you’re celebrated, not where you’re tolerated”
"Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. Texas minister Mike Murdock used "Go where you're celebrated, not…
“If you’re offered a seat on a rocket ship, don’t ask what seat. Just get on”
Sheryl Sandberg, an American technology executive with Google and then Facebook, spoke before the graduating class of Harvard Business School in May 2012. She said of her taking interview with…
“A year from now you will wish you had started today”
"A year from now you will wish you had started today" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been credited to American author Karen Lamb since at…
“Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you’re scared to death”
The syndicated newspaper entertainment columnist Earl Wilson (1907-1987) wrote in March 1977: "REMEMBERED QUOTE: 'Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to…
“What exercise did Jesus do?”/“CrossFit.”
CrossFit is a fitness program that was founded in 2000. An obvious joke is: Q: What exercise did Jesus do?A: CrossFit. "Where did jesus work out? Crossfit" was cited on Twitter on…
“Why should you never iron a 4-leaf clover?”/“You shouldn’t press your luck.”
A popular St. Patrick's Day joke is: Q: Why should you never iron a 4-leaf clover? A: You don't want to press your luck. The joke has been printed on many images and has been cited in…
“Seek respect, not attention. It lasts longer”
"Seek respect, not attention. It lasts longer" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was cited on Twitter by Cristal Steverson on May 10, 2011.…
“The performer is available for a limited number of cancellations”
American pianist and composer Oscar Levant (1906-1972) and Russian-born American classical pianist Vladimir Horowitz (1903-1989) both became notorious for cancelling concerts. Levant joked (by at…
“Cricket is a game of glorious uncertainties”
"The glorious uncertainty of the law" was a toast made in 1756, after Lord Mansfield overruled some old legal decisions. Several sports and games have been noted for their "glorious…
Hawaii: Aloha State (nickname)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Aloha Aloha (pronounced [əˈlo.hə]) in the Hawaiian language means affection, peace, compassion, and mercy. Since the middle of the 19th century, it also has…
Noisyville-on-the-Subway
American writer O. Henry (the pen name of William Sydney Porter, 1862-1910) wrote in the short story "The Duel: A Story of New York" (1906): "What's that? Oh, you've still…
“Sitting is the new smoking”
"Sitting is the new smoking" is a popular expression showing just how bad sitting is for the body -- sitting can be as bad as smoking. A headline in the Daily Mail (UK) in 2007 was,…
“I always wanted to try juggling. I just never had the balls to”
"I always wanted to try juggling, but I never had the balls" is a jocular one-liner about juggling. "I've always wanted to try juggling..I've just never had the balls to do…
“Quality is the best business plan”
"Quality is the best business plan" is a saying that has been printed on many images. John Lasseter, an American animator and the chief creative officer of Pixar Animation Studios, is…
“What’s the difference between a feminist and a hockey player? (joke)
A popular sexist sports joke is: Q: What's the difference between a feminist and a hockey player?A: A hockey player showers after three periods. The "feminist" in the joke was cited…