“Blast from the past”
Radio disc jockeys sometimes play old songs, referred to as "blasts from the past." The "blast from the past" term was used in New York City in 1961, but it's uncertain who…
Archive for /P27260
“My doctor said to stay away from trans fats, so I left tumblr”
Tumblr is a social networking website that has been popular with the LGBTQ community and with people who post recipes. "Trans fats" does not mean "fat transsexuals," but a joke…
“The scrawny personal trainer had to give a too weak notice”
People who are dismissed from jobs are often given two weeks' notice. Failed personal trainers might be given, according to the pun, a "too weak notice." "Too weak notice"…
“If smoking is so bad for you, how come it cures salmon?”
"If smoking is so bad for you, how come it cures salmon?" is a funny one-line saying. The joke was printed in "Your Morning Smile" in The Globe and Mail (Toronto, Ontario) on…
“My doctor said to stay away from trans fats, so I left tumblr”
Tumblr is a social networking website that has been popular with the LGBTQ community and with people who post recipes. "Trans fats" does not mean "fat transsexuals," but a joke…
“A subatomic particle refused to pay bus fare. It just lepton”
"Lepton" (a particle) sounds like "leapt on," leading to several puns. "How did the electron travel to london? It just lepton the train" was posted on Twitter on…
“What do you call a pious pepper?”/“A holy peño.”
"Holy peño" is sometimes given for "jalapeño." A "Holy-Peno Burger" by 8-year-old Charlie Beckett from Rathdrum, Idaho, was cited on Twitter on December 5, 2008 and…
“How many hamburgers can you eat on an empty stomach?” (riddle)
A popular food riddle is: Q: How many hamburgers can you eat on an empty stomach?A: One. After that, your stomach isn't empty. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1849, when it…
“Don’t smoke, drink or chew, or run with boys who do”
"Don't smoke, drink or chew, or run with boys/girls who do" is a popular Christian saying in the United States. The precise origin of the rhyme is unknown. "Me?...I never…
“Why do Baptists forbid kissing standing up?”/“It might lead to dancing.”
A joke about Baptists (or other denominations) is: Q: Why do Baptists forbid having sex while standing up?A: It might lead to dancing. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1983. Google…
“What’s the result of tossing a live grenade into a French kitchen?” (joke)
A French kitchen pun is: Q: What's the result of tossing a live grenade into a French kitchen?A: Linoleum Blownapart. The Napoleon Bonaparte/Linoleum Blownapart joke has been cited in print…
“Where do cows go for entertainment?”/“To the moo-vies.”
A popular cow joke is: Q: Where do cows go for entertainment?A: To the moo-vies. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1979. “Where do cows go on vacation?"/"Moo York" is…
“What did the boy scout say when he fixed the car horn?”/“Beep repaired.”
The motto of the Boy Scouts of America is "Be Prepared." There's a joke: Q: What did the boy scout say when he fixed the car horn?A: "Beep repaired." The joke has been…
“How many protesters does it take to change a light bulb?” (joke)
Many people believe that protesting doesn't work. A joke is: Q: How many protesters does it take to change a light bulb?A: Trick question. Protesters never change anything. The joke has been…
Ameritude (America + attitude)
The USA Freedom Kids performed on January 14, 2016 in Pensacola, Florida, at a political rally for Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump. To the tune of "Over There" (1917), they…
“What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?” (joke)
A popular golf joke is: Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?A: A bad golfer goes, "WHACK! Oh shit!" A bad skydiver goes, "Oh shit! WHACK!" The…
Moneyvangelist (money + evangelist)
A "moneyvangelist" (money + evangelist) is a preacher (such as a "televangelist") who is most concerned about money. The term was coined and defined by American humorist James…
“What do you call a day old pastry?”/“Yesterdanish.”
A joke about the Danish pastry is: Q: What do you call a day old pastry?A: Yesterdanish. The joke was cited on Reddit on July 21, 2016. "#replacebeatlessongwithfood Yesterdanish" was…
“Why don’t orphans play baseball?”/“They don’t know where home is.”
A baseball riddle (a "home" plate pun) is: Q: Why don't orphans play baseball?A: They don't know where home is. "Stupid question: Why don't orphans play…
“What is a cannibal?”/“Someone who is fed up with people.”
An old joke definition of a cannibal is: Q: What is a cannibal?A: Someone who is fed up with people. The joke has been cited in print since at least July 1943, when the newspaper PM (New York, NY)…