“What do you call a clock’s signature?”/“It’s John Hanclock.”
A pun about a time signature was posted on Twitter by "jolly dad jokes" on November 28, 2017: Q: What do you call a clock's signature?A: It's John Hanclock. The portmanteau…
Archive for /P23500
“Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?”/“Because he had low elf esteem.”
A Christmas riddle is: Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?A: Because he had low elf esteem. The low "elf" esteem pun (on "self" esteem) has been cited in print…
“If you operate a drill press, you have a boring job”
A pun on "boring job" was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on September 23, 2000: "If you operate a drill press, you have a boring job. (Pun of the Day)" "Digging…
“What do fish need to stay healthy?”/“Vitamin Sea.”
"Vitamin Sea" is a fish pun for "Vitamin C." "Vitamin Sea" has been cited in print since at least 1938. "Vitamin Sea" riddles have been cited in print since…
“What is Frosty’s favorite dinner?”/“Spaghetti and snowballs.”
The dish of spaghetti and meatballs sometimes becomes "spaghetti and snowballs" in winter months. "ICED SPAGHETTI AND SNOWBALLS AGAIN?" was published in the Li'l Abner…
“Two penguins walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A penguin version is: "Two penguins walk into a bar, and the bartender says,…
“Digging tunnels is a boring job”
A pun on "boring job" was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on September 23, 2000: "If you operate a drill press, you have a boring job. (Pun of the Day)" "Digging…
“What do you call a clock’s signature?”/“It’s John Hanclock.”
A pun about a time signature was posted on Twitter by "jolly dad jokes" on November 28, 2017: Q: What do you call a clock's signature?A: It's John Hanclock. The portmanteau…
“Absolutely despicable that gingerbread men are forced to live in houses made of their own flesh”
Gingerbread men live in gingerbread houses. A one-line saying was posted on Twitter by "regluar name" on December 9, 2015: "Absolutely despicable that gingerbread men are forced…
“Man goes to the doctor with a strawberry growing out of his head” (joke)
A strawberry-and-cream joke is: "A man goes to the doctor with a strawberry growing out of his head. The doctor says, 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'" The joke was…
“Rights are not gifts from government”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikiquote: Thomas JeffersonThomas Jefferson (13 April 1743 – 4 July 1826) was author of the Declaration of Independence (1776) and the Virginia Statute for Religious…
“What’s the difference between a politician and a snail?” (joke)
What's the difference between a politician and a snail? A politics joke was posted to the newsgroup eunet.jokes on November 14, 1994: "Gerold's pronouncement: The difference between…
“The Beach Boys walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Beach Boys version is: The Beach Boys walk into a…
“What kind of car does an egg drive?”/“A Yolkswagon.”
A "Yolkswagon" or "Yolkswagen" (yolk + Volkswagen) is a portmanteau that has been used in several jokes. A riddle was printed in Boys' Life on November 1984: Q: What kind…
“Why are Americans so bad at League of Legends?”/“Because they can’t defend their towers.”
A riddle about the multiplayer online battle arena video game League of Legends hints at the September 11, 2001 attacks on New York City's World Trade Center: Q: Why are Americans so bad at…
“100 years ago everyone had horses and only the rich had cars”
Milwaukee (WI) Sentinel columnist Alex Thien wrote on July 1, 1993: "There was a time when only poor people had horses and only the rich had cars. And now only the poor people have cars and…
“What came after the stone age and the bronze age?”/“The sausage.”
A joke about the "sausage" (or "Saus Age") is: TEACHER: What came after the stone age and the bronze age?STUDENT: The saus-age. The joke was printed in many newspapers in 1907.…
“I was thinking of running a marathon…” (joke)
"Running a marathon" usually means running in a marathon, not running the marathon. Jordan Brookes joked on Twitter on May 12, 2014: "I'd like to run a marathon but it seems…
“Playing golf is like playing fetch with yourself”
"Golf: The art of playing fetch with yourself" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Golf: Playing 'fetch' with yourself" was posted on the…
“If you win a year’s worth of calendars, do you only win one calendar?”
A joke has someone getting "a year's supply of calendars" -- one calendar. The joke was used on the American television sitcom Full House, the episode "The Big Three-O"…