“What do you call a doctor who is on call 24/7?”/“An oncologist.”
An "oncologist" is someone who treats cancer patients; the name sounds like "on-call-ogist." "Oncologist.................A Doctor who is always on call" was posted on…
Archive for /P23480
“When making mac & cheese I didn’t use a colander long enough; wife gave me a restraining order”
A colander joke is: "When making macaroni and cheese I didn't use the colander long enough, and wife gave me a restraining order." The one-line saying was posted on Twitter on…
“How much did Santa’s sleigh cost?”/“Nothing, it was on the house.”
A Christmas riddle is: Q: How much did Santa's sleigh cost?A: Nothing, it was on the house. "On the house" means "free." The joke was posted on Twitter on December 3, 2011,…
“I’ll change my Facebook username to NOBODY…” (joke)
"I am going 2 change my Facebook username to NOBODY so when i see a boring status..i will like it..then it read:NOBODY LIKE THIS" was posted on Twitter on September 4, 2012. "Very…
“Scholarships are basically giftcards for college”
Are there "gift cards" for college? "Scholarships are just gift cards for college" was posted on Twitter on January 10, 2016. "Scholarships are basically giftcards for…
“Onion rings and french fries are deep fried binary”
French fries look like the number "one" and onion rings look like the number "zero." "I just successfully tried my hand at ordering fast food in Binary. sooo: FRENCH FRIES…
“A rectangular prism walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A prism version is: "A rectangular prism walks into a bar and the bartender asks,…
“Whoever said technology would replace all paper hasn’t tried wiping their behind with an iPad”
"Whoever said technology would replace all paper hasn’t tried wiping their ass/behind with an iPad" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Whoever said technology will…
“What do you call someone who doesn’t eat animal products and loves to gamble?”/“A Las Vegan.”
A person from Las Vegas (Nevada or New Mexico) is a "Las Vegan." This is pronounced "Vay-gan." Such a person may or may not also be a "vegan" (usually pronounced…
Vote-a-rama (Vote-a-thon)
The term "vote-a-rama" (vote + -arama) was popularized in the U.S. Senate in the 1990s. When the Senate considers its annual budget resolution, all amendments must be voted on, and there…
BW3 (Buffalo Wild Wings & Weck nickname)
Buffalo Wild Wings is an American casual dining restaurant and sports bar franchise, founded in Ohio in 1982. It was originally called Buffalo Wild Wings & Weck (after "beef on weck"…
“What kind of music does cheese listen to?”/“R & Brie.”
A cheese riddle is: Q: What kind of music does cheese listen to?A: R & Brie. "What Music appeals to most Cheese?... R & Brie" was posted on Twitter on November 23, 2012. The…
“A mother gave birth during flight. The baby was airborne”
The word "airborne" has had some born-on-an-airplane "air born" puns. "My doctor friend helped deliver a baby during a flight, it's safe to say the baby was…
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. Half of them don’t work; the other half aren’t bright”
Various people have been compared to Christmas lights. "Glaswegians are like Christmas lights,half of them don’t work and most of the rest aren’t that bright" was posted on Twitter on…
“How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?” (flute joke)
A flute riddle is: Q: How do you cover 12 holes with one hole? A: Take a flute and shove it up your ass. A form of the joke was posted on the newsgroup AFMC Group A Batch on March 29, 2012. Google…
“What cheese has a bit of alcohol problem?”/“Livarot.”
A riddle about Livarot cheese -- that some people pronounce as "liver rot," although that is not the correct French -- is: Q: What cheese has a bit of alcohol problem?A: Livarot. The…
“Liberals are like Christmas lights. Half of them don’t work; the other half aren’t bright”
Various people have been compared to Christmas lights. "Glaswegians are like Christmas lights,half of them don’t work and most of the rest aren’t that bright" was posted on Twitter on…
“A pessimist sees nothing but dark in the tunnel…”
A version of how a pessimist, optimist and realist see things is a saying that has been printed on many images. This saying was posted on the newsgroup freeware news on April 20, 2007: "The…
“What kind of music does cheese listen to?”/“R&Brie.”
A cheese riddle is: Q: What kind of music does cheese listen to?A: R & Brie. "What Music appeals to most Cheese?... R & Brie" was posted on Twitter on November 23, 2012. The…
“I’m not yawning. I’m doing face yoga”
"I'm not yawning. I'm doing face yoga" is a jocular saying that has been printed on a T-shirt. "I'm not yawning. I'm doing face yoga" was posted on Twitter…