“What’s the shittiest day of the week?”/“SaTURDay.”
A riddle was posted on Twitter on January 2, 2011: Q: What's the shittiest day of the week? A: Sa"TURD"ay. "What's the shittiest day of the week? SaTURDay" was posted…
Archive for /P23240
“I entered a dad joke competition and won $1000. It was a grand dad joke”
The sum of $1,000 is a "grand." There is a "dad joke" -- or rather a "grand dad joke" -- about this. "I was paid $1000 for this joke. It was a grand dad…
“Paper or plastic?”/“Either. I’m bisacktual.”
A cashier often gives a customer a choice of bags and asks, “Paper or plastic?” A joke is: CASHIER: Paper or plastic?CUSTOMER: Either. I'm bisacksual/bisacktual. "When they ask…
“I’m going to a notable restaurant tonight. I’m excited, but I don’t know where I’ll put my plate”
There's a difference between a "notable" restaurant and a "no table" restaurant. "I'm going to a notable restaurant tonight. I'm excited, but I don't…
“As a child: ‘You’re grounded.’ As an adult: ‘Your package will be delivered between 8 am and 6 pm’”
Waiting for a package is like being in prison, or like being grounded as a child, A joke was posted on the website Sickipedia on December 19, 2017: As a child: 'You are grounded. 'As an…
“Dad used to say ‘the sky’s the limit.’ Which is probably why he got fired from NASA”
A joke about the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) was posted on Twitter on May 20, 2017: "My Grandpa always said 'the sky's the limit' to encourage me. Now I…
“I always pick the checkout aisle with the most attractive cashier. The self-checkout”
Some people look for the checkout with the hottest-looking cashier. "I always pick out the best looking cashier at the market, self check out lane it is" was posted on Twitter on…
“‘No lemon, no melon’ backwards is ‘No lemon, no melon’”
Entry in progress. -- B.P. Reddit -- Shower Thoughts'No lemon, no melon' backwards is 'No lemon, no melon'submitted December 25, 2017 by MazkaraManik
“Do dragons enjoy playing offices and accountants?”
Dungeons and Dragons is a fantasy tabletop role-playing game. Offices & Bosses is another role-playing game. "If we play D&D...do Dragons play 'Offices & Humans' in their…
“When does a joke become a dad joke?”/“When the punchline becomes apparent.”
The word "apparent" sounds like "a parent." A dad joke was posted on Twitter on December 9, 2014: Q: When does a joke become a dad joke?A: When the punchline becomes apparent.…
“I entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house”
A joke about a fitness app was posted on Twitter by Mikey on October 12, 2015: "Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house." The one-line…
“How do you make an idiot laugh on Boxing Day?”/“Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve.”
There is Christmas Eve (December 24th), then Christmas Day (December 25th), and then Boxing Day (December 26th) in the United Kingdom. A riddle is: Q: How do you make an idiot laugh on Boxing…
“It was so cold that Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick”
Coffee is usually -- but not always -- served hot. A winter joke is: "It was so cold that Dunkin' Donuts (or Starbucks or a local coffeehouse) was serving coffee on a stick."…
“A fish in sea” (“efficiency” pun)
"A fish in sea" sounds like the word "efficiency." There have been several puns and riddles. "Efficiency (A Fish In Sea), a film about a man's preoccupation with…
“What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?”/“They get their masters.”
There is a difference between "master's" (a degree) and "masters." A dog riddle was posted on Twitter on April 15, 2013: "Stupid joke of the day: What do dogs do after…
“What’s a cannibal’s favorite cookie?”/“Ladyfingers.”
Entry in progress. -- B.P. Wikipedia: Ladyfinger (biscuit)Ladyfingers (often called with their original Italian name, savoiardi, or sponge fingers in British English) are low density, dry,…
“If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cutecumber”
"If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cutecumber" (cute + cucumber) is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "'If you were a vegetable, you'd be a…
“Happy whatever doesn’t offend you” (greeting)
"Happy whatever doesn't offend you" is a greeting appropriate for all holidays and all religions that has been printed in many images. "Merry Christmas," for example, might…
“I changed the name of my hard drive to ‘that thang’” (joke)
A computer joke was posted on Twitter on October 13, 2010: "I changed the name of my hard drive to 'that thang', so once a month, my computer asks me if i wanna back that that thang…
“What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?”/“COOOOOAAAAALLLLLLLLL!”
No one likes to get a lump of coal in a Christmas stocking. Soccer announcer Andrés Cantor is known for his iconic "Goal!" shout when one is scored. A riddle was posted on Reddit --…