“People first, then money, then things”
"People first, then money, then things" is a saying that has been printed on many images.American author, financial advisor and motivational speaker Suze Orman trademarked the saying and…
Archive for /P22080
“‘Whatever the missing mass of the universe is, I hope it’s not in cockroaches.’ – a NYC tenant’”
An astronomy joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.fan.dragons on May 5, 2002: "Whatever the missing mass of the universe is, I hope it's not in cockroaches." A New York City…
“What’s the difference between the Titanic and Al Qaeda?”/“Al Qaeda made it to New York.”
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not politically correct. One riddle is: Q: What's the difference between…
“Training is like wrestling a gorilla. You don’t stop when you’re tired”
"Success is a little like wrestling a gorilla. You don’t quit when you’re tired. You quit when the gorilla is tired" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Texas-born…
“I always wanted to be a Gregorian monk, but I never got the chants”
"Chants" sounds like "chance." "I've always wanted to be a Gregorian monk but I never really had the chants!" was posted on Twitter on August 14, 2017. "I…
“A goal should scare you a little, and excite you a lot”
"A goal should scare you a little, and excite you a lot" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. Dr. Joe Vitale wrote in his book, The Attractor Factor: 5 Easy…
“‘Tiny House Community’ is just hipster lingo for ‘Mobile Home Park’”
"Tiny house community" is a 2000s term for people living in smaller houses. "Tiny House Communities DO exist. We call them mobile home parks" was posted on Twitter on January 9,…
“The Soviet Union made the best bread in history. People would wait days in line for it!”
Just because people wait in line for something doesn't necessarily make that product extra special. It could be a bread or a soup line, and the people waiting in line could be hungry. The…
“Never let somebody waste your time, twice”
"Never let somebody/someone waste your time, twice" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying borrows somewhat from the old proverb, "Fool me once,…
The Only Day After Yesterday (“today” backronym)
The word "today" is not an acronym, but it is sometimes given a backronym (back acronym). "I know what TODAY stand for The Only Day After Yesterday it just hit me lol" was…
“Baristas have to deal with people before they’ve had their morning coffee”
Many people are not pleasant until they've had their morning coffee. "The staff of @DunkinDonuts must be saints for dealing with people BEFORE they've had their morning coffee!…
“Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help”
"Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
“I don’t diet. I just eat according to my goals”
"I don't diet. I just eat according to my goals" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Some people eat to get stronger and have more energy, while others want to lose…
“Do you deliver?”/“No, but we do chicken, lamb and fish.”
A restaurant joke -- usually an Indian restaurant -- about takeout/takeaway is: PERSON ON PHONE TO RESTAURANT: Do you deliver?RESTAURANT EMPLOYEE: No, but we do chicken, lamb and fish.…
“What did one wall say to the other wall?”/“Meet me at the corner.”
A riddle about walls is: Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?A: "Meet me at the corner." The joke was printed in the Brooklyn (NY) Eagle on August 17, 1940. 17 August 1940,…
“I tried to write a drinking song once, but I couldn’t get past the first bar”
A "bar" can mean a musical section, but it can also mean a place that serves drinks. A joke was published in the Chicago (IL) Daily Tribune on October 28, 1955: "Uncle Helmer tried…
“Giant cannibals were soaking me in vinegar when I shouted, ‘Pickle someone your own size!’”
The word "pickle" doesn't mean "pick," but there's a pun: "Giant cannibals began to soak me in vinegar, I thought 'enough is enough.' 'Why…
“I tried to write a drinking song once, but I couldn’t get past the first bar”
A "bar" can mean a musical section, but it can also mean a place that serves drinks. A joke was published in the Chicago (IL) Daily Tribune on October 28, 1955: "Uncle Helmer tried…
“How do comedians send messages?”/“By tee-hee mail.”
An email riddle is: Q: How do comedians send messages?A: By tee-hee mail. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.happy.valley on October 22, 2002. Google Groups: alt.happy.valleyWays of sending…
“Are we there, Yeti?”
"Are we there yet?" is the classic question that children sitting in the back seat of a car ask a parent (in the front seat, such as the driver) on a long road trip. "Are we there,…