“If the coronavirus doesn’t take you out, can I?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic led to some jocular pickup lines. This was posted on Twitter by yikes on March 9, 2020: "If the coronavirus doesn’t take you out, can I?" "If…
Archive for /P17700
“CONTAGIOUS in a sentence: it will take the CONTAGIOUS to finish painting her house with a brush”
The word "contagious" can sound like "c-nt ages." A joke has a teacher asking a student for a sentence using the word "contagious." One student says that a father…
“Just to be clear, we have all agreed that liquor stores are ‘essential’ and schools are not”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many school closings. Grocery stores and liquor stores were usually deemed "essential" and were allowed to remain open. "Just to be…
“Can’t wait til tomorrow. I have another big day of hand washing & looking out the window planned”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many people quarantining themselves in their homes. Boredom resulted. "I slept 14 hours last night absolutely locked and fuckin loaded for a big…
“TP hoarding explained: Some people will be eating their own cooking for the first time in years”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused panic buying of toilet paper. Many people were puzzled by this. "Toilet paper hoarding explained...some people will be eating their own cooking for…
“If you have a threesome, you have the recommended six feet between you”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused "social distancing," with people six feet away from one another. "The threesome put me within 6 feet of people #SoIHadToGetTested" was…
“Toilet paper hoarding explained: Some people will be eating their own cooking”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused panic buying of toilet paper. Many people were puzzled by this. "Toilet paper hoarding explained...some people will be eating their own cooking for…
“Proofreading is impotant”
Proofreading is important. However, "important" is sometimes spelled "impotant" or "impotent" for jocular reasons. "Proofreading is very impotent" was posted…
“Proofreading is impotent”
Proofreading is important. However, "important" is sometimes spelled "impotant" or "impotent" for jocular reasons. "Proofreading is very impotent" was posted…
“They say keep your friends close, but your enemies closer… *coughs*”
"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer" is a famous saying from the film The Godfather Part II (1974). During the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, people were instructed to…
“One of the great things about cooking your own food is the certainty that any hair in it is yours”
People don't like to find a hair in their food. "One of the best things about making your own food? If you find a hair in it, you know it's yours" was posted on Twitter by Shawn…
“Meatloaf is a rectangular meatball”
Meatloaf has often been compared to meatballs. "Meatloaf is basically a rectangular meatball" was posted on Twitter by KK Sniper on November 14, 2013. "Meatloaf is basically a giant…
“The only non-essential business is government”
During the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, many governments shut down businesses that were deemed "non-essential." "The only non-essential business I see is the Government and News…
“What’s way more dangerous than the coronavirus? The belief that government cares about you”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic led many governments to propose solutions, such as quarantining citizens in their homes. This was posted on Twitter by Kyle Reese #SovereignSoulja on March 13,…
Car Owner Virus (“coronavirus” malapropism)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is sometimes jocularly understood as the "car owner virus." "Car Owner Virus" was posted on Twitter by Loudmouthman on January 22, 2020.…
“I’m so happy I don’t drive. Especially with all this car owner virus going around”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is sometimes jocularly understood as the "car owner virus." "Car Owner Virus" was posted on Twitter by Loudmouthman on January 22, 2020.…
“Got a cold and it’s making me purchase new vehicles each day. Must be the ‘car owner’ virus”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is sometimes jocularly understood as the "car owner virus." "Car Owner Virus" was posted on Twitter by Loudmouthman on January 22, 2020.…
Isolationship (isolated + relationship)
An "isolationship" (isolated + relationship) usually means someone or something isolated, so that no relationships are possible. The term "isolationship" had been infrequently…
“Day 6 of quarantine. Preparing to take out the garbage. So excited can’t decide what to wear”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to be quarantined in their homes. People would, however, leave the home briefly to take out the garbage. "'I got so excited about…
“Now Showing: No Close Encounters of Any Kind” (quarantine movie joke)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many movie houses to close and for people to quarantine and to "socially distance" themselves. The Colonial Theatre (Phoenixville, PA) closed,…