“I dropped Parmesan on my laptop and called it Mac ‘n’ Cheese”
An iMac has nothing to do with macaroni and cheese, but there are jokes. "I just spilled some mozzarella from my pizza onto my laptop. Henceforth, I shall call my laptop Mac 'n'…
Archive for /P17240
“What do you call a participation trophy in astronomy?”/“A constellation prize.”
A "consolation prize" is not a "constellation prize," but there are jokes. "The astronomer's research project didn't win him the coveted Galaxy Award, but he did…
“My grandad asked me how to print on his computer. I told him it’s Ctrl-P” (joke)
Ctrl-P (print) sounds like "control pee." "Microsoft discriminates against incontinent people, with the continued insistence that they control pee to print" was posted on…
“What do you call a gang of 19 crows?”/“Corvid-19.”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: 2019-20 coronavirus outbreakThe 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is an ongoing global pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19), caused by severe acute…
“If we’re going to have one way grocery aisles, I’m going to need a passing lane”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in changes to many grocery stores, such as one-way aisles. "Okay, if we're going to have one-way grocery aisles then I'm going to need a…
“The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume. That’s sound advice”
The expression "sound advice" usually doesn't literally involve sound, but there are jokes. This was posted on Twitter by Reverend Scott on June 20, 2016: SON: The car's manual…
“Spilling Parmesan all over my laptop gives a whole new meaning to Mac ‘n’ Cheese”
An iMac has nothing to do with macaroni and cheese, but there are jokes. "I just spilled some mozzarella from my pizza onto my laptop. Henceforth, I shall call my laptop Mac 'n'…
“What can the coronavirus do that the U.S. government can’t?”/“Stop school shootings.”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic caused many public schools to be closed. Students were homeschooled and went to online classes. "What can the coronavirus do that the us government…
“Travel plans: To the window, to the wall, then I might go down the hall”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic cancelled the travel plans of many people. "Travel plans: To the window, to the wall, then I might go down the hall" is a jocular saying that was…
“2020: The year your wheelie bin goes out more than you”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many people being quarantined in their homes. The garbage and recycling bins left the home more than many people. "2020: The year your wheelie…
“The astronomer’s research project didn’t win a Galaxy Award, but he received a constellation prize”
A "consolation prize" is not a "constellation prize," but there are jokes. "The astronomer's research project didn't win him the coveted Galaxy Award, but he did…
“You never realize how anti-social you are until there’s a pandemic and your life doesn’t change”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic changed many people's lives -- but not all people's lives. "You never realize how anti-social you are until there's a pandemic and your life…
“Practice media distancing”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic required many people to use "social distancing" (standing six feet away). Many people also practiced "media distancing," especially those who…
“What’s the difference between jam and jelly?”/“You can’t get stuck in a traffic jelly.”
A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on May 11, 2020: Q: What's the difference between jam and jelly?A: I ain't never been caught in a traffic jelly. There usually is no such thing as…
“Nobody’s heard from the Zamboni drivers since the NHL cancelled their season” (joke)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in the cancellation of the National Hockey League season. "We haven't seen the last of this Zamboni driver in the NHL, he will resurface"…
“Practice social media distancing”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic required many people to use "social distancing" (standing six feet away). Many people also practiced "social media distancing" -- staying away…
Social Media Distancing (social media + social distancing)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic required many people to use "social distancing" (standing six feet away). Many people also practiced "social media distancing" -- staying away…
“I finished Netflix today”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to be locked down at home, where many of these people watched Netflix (an American media-services provider). "I finished Netflix…
“FYI: wearing a mask with your nose sticking out is like wearing a condom with the tip cut off”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some requirements to wear face masks. "FYI: wearing a mask with your nose sticking out is like wearing a condom with the tip cut off" is a…
Controlavirus (control + coronavirus)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic was called the "controlavirus" (control + coronavirus) by some who believed that the most harmful thing of the coronavirus was the loss of liberty and…