“Bathroom is for eating customers only” (restaurant sign)
Restaurants sometimes state that tables or parking or restrooms are "for eating customers only." The joke is that this implies cannibalism of "eating customers" (rather than…
Archive for /P16220
“My head gets cold at the drop of a hat”
"At the drop of a hat" means without hesitation (instantly). The phrase usually does not literally involve a hat, but there are jokes. "My head gets cold at the drop of a hat"…
“Does social distancing tack on six additional feet to each active restraining order?”
The 2020 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many social distancing requirements. Social distancing was compared to a restraining order. "I do my social distancing the old-fashioned way, usually…
“Restroom is for eating customers only” (restaurant sign)
Restaurants sometimes state that tables or parking or restrooms are "for eating customers only." The joke is that this implies cannibalism of "eating customers" (rather than…
“If we shouldn’t eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?”
"If we're not supposed to eat late-night snacks, why is there a light in the refrigerator?" is a jocular saying that has been cited in print since at least 1999. "If we…
“I love smoothies. They’re so much nicer than hairies”
A "smoothie" drink has nothing to do with a lack of hair, but there are jokes. "I love smoothies. They're so much nicer than hairies" was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot…
“Tables are for eating customers only” (restaurant sign)
Restaurants sometimes state that tables or parking or restrooms are "for eating customers only." The joke is that this implies cannibalism of "eating customers" (rather than…
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
"If we're not supposed to eat late-night snacks, why is there a light in the refrigerator?" (or, "If we're not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the…
“The truth will set you free. Except on Facebook, where it will get you a 30-day ban”
"The truth will set you free" is in the New Testament, John 8:31-32. "'The truth will set you free' except on Twitter and Facebook! #MAGA" was posted on Twitter by…
“If anyone needs copies of Osteopath Monthly, I have back issues”
There have been several magazine puns on the term “back issues.” "I've been getting the periodical Osteopath weekly for years. I have a lot of back issues" was posted on Twitter…
“No recommended daily amount of fish oil has been codified”
"Codification" has to do with "code" and not "cod" (a fish), but there are jokes. "Note to self: When something's been 'codified', that does NOT…
“Somewhere, someone is showering with a mask on. I just know it”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many requirements to wear face masks. Many people wore the masks even at home. "Somewhere, someone is showering with a mask on. I just know…
“A man walks into a bar in New Orleans…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." The year 2020 brought many problems, such as the coronavirus pandemic, and in late August…
“What do you call a killing before yoga practice?”/“A pre-meditated murder.”
"Premeditated murder" means a murder that was planned in advance. It doesn't mean a murder "before meditation," but there are jokes. "Just heard about the yoga…
“I’m adding ‘showed up for work during the apocalypse’ to my résumé”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic sent many people home to quarantines, but many essential workers stayed on the job. "I'm adding 'showed up for/to work during the apocalypse'…
“If anybody needs copies of Osteopath Weekly, I have back issues”
There have been several magazine puns on the term “back issues.” "I've been getting the periodical Osteopath weekly for years. I have a lot of back issues" was posted on Twitter…
“It’s no longer 5 o’clock somewhere. It’s 2020 everywhere, so drink whenever you want”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to drink a lot. The drinking saying "it's five o'clock somewhere" no longer applied for many people. "Drink whenever…
“A man walks into a bar and asks for a Corona and two Hurricanes…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." The year 2020 brought many problems, such as the coronavirus pandemic, and in late August…
“A gun in the hand is worth more than the entire police force on the phone”
"A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. The form is similar to the proverb "a bird in the hand is worth two in…
“A gun in the hand is worth the entire police force on the phone”
"A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. The form is similar to the proverb "a bird in the hand is worth two in…