“Schwan’s food was the OG Uber Eats”
Schwan's (a home-delivery food business) has been compared to Uber Eats. "schwans is uber eats for old people" was posted on Twitter by newt on July 17, 2018. "Schwan’s man…
Archive for 01/2022
“A zombie walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A zombie version is: "A zombie walks into a bar and orders a lemonade. The bartender…
“The best imaginary dish to say in a MA accent ‘garlic braised arctic char with artichoke hearts’”
Artichokes have nothing to do with the Arctic or Antarctica, but there are jokes. Some jokes involve the cold-water fish Arctic char. "'Antartichoke' - @al_bal4 trying to decide…
“Let’s have Netflix run the next pandemic. They don’t let anything get three seasons”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic extended over several years. Netflix is an American subscription streaming service known for canceling a series after one or two seasons. "Let's have…
“When the law doesn’t apply to lawmakers, you’re not being governed. You’re being ruled”
"When the law doesn’t apply to lawmakers, you’re not being governed. You’re being ruled" is a saying that has been printed on many images. American conservative political…
“Artichokes imply the existence of antartichokes”
Artichokes have nothing to do with the Arctic or Antarctica, but there are jokes. Some jokes involve the cold-water fish Arctic char. "'Antartichoke' - @al_bal4 trying to decide…
“Never entrust your life to those whom you can’t trust with your wallet”
"Never trust your life with people you can't trust with your wallet" and "Never entrust your life to those whom you can't trust with your wallet" are sayings that have…
“It’s kind of shitty that we basically pay politicians to tell us to go fuck ourselves”
"It's kind of shitty that we basically pay politicians to tell us to go fuck ourselves" is a saying that has been printed on an image. "Kinda shitty that we basically pay…
“Coffee is why I got out of bed today”
"Coffee -- It's why you got out of bed today" (or "Coffee is why I got out of bed today") is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "#Coffee it’s why…
“A single kernel of corn is a unicorn”
The fictional "unicorn" animal is not "a single piece of corn," but the joke has been printed on many images. "So is a unicorn like one single piece of corn?" was…
“Imagine if you will a war in which the majority of one side didn’t know they were at war…”
"Imagine a war in which the majority of one side didn’t know they were at war, ridiculed those that did, and were blindly obedient to their enemy" (or "Imagine a war, in which the…
“If you want to take my freedoms, make damn sure you’re as passionate about taking them…”
"If you want to take my freedom, make (damn) sure you’re as passionate about taking it as I am about keeping it" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "If you want to…
“If you want to take my freedom, make damn sure you’re as passionate about taking it…”
"If you want to take my freedom, make (damn) sure you’re as passionate about taking it as I am about keeping it" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "If you want to…
“Unicorn (noun)—A single piece of corn”
The fictional "unicorn" animal is not "a single piece of corn," but the joke has been printed on many images. "So is a unicorn like one single piece of corn?" was…
“Coffee—It’s why you got out of bed today”
"Coffee -- It's why you got out of bed today" (or "Coffee is why I got out of bed today") is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "#Coffee it’s why…
“Chicken is the default meat”
Chicken is a very popular meat. Many meats are said to "taste like chicken." "Chicken as America's 'default meat'" was posted on Twitter by Molly Ditmore on…
“Taking things away from people until they say yes is not a choice”
"Taking things away from people until they say yes is not a choice" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying usually refers to government persuasion to get people to…
“Boob job implies the existence of boob unemployment”
A "boob job" means work done on a breast (boob). It is not an actual job, but there are jokes. "If boobjobs were actually jobs, I'd file for boobunemployment& the gov't…
Gourdgeous (gourd + gorgeous)
Entry in progress -- BP Reddit -- CleanjokesPosted by u/chacham2 January 7, 2022What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?GOURDgeous.
“If you don’t have a boob job, you should be able to collect boob unemployment”
A "boob job" means work done on a breast (boob). It is not an actual job, but there are jokes. "If boobjobs were actually jobs, I'd file for boobunemployment& the gov't…