“I quit my job testing treadmills. I felt I wasn’t going anywhere”
"I bet testing treadmills is a great starter job. Seems like it could really get a career up and running..." is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Nancy on September 28, 2012. "My…
Archive for 05/2021
“For Lease Navidad” (pun on “Feliz Navidad”)
"Feliz Navidad" (1970) is a now-classic Christmas song that was written and performed by Puerto Rican singer/songwriter José Feliciano. Real estate has many "FOR LEASE" signs,…
“Did you hear about the guy who got arrested for stealing hay? He made bale”
"Bail" shouldn't be confused with "bale," but there are jokes. "I got arrested yesterday for stealing hay from a farmer. I’ve been refused bale" was posted on…
“Mondays are my favorite day to question all my life decisions”
"Mondays are my favorite day to question all my life decisions" is a saying that has been printed on several images. Many people show up for work on Monday nd have such questions.…
“I got arrested yesterday for stealing hay from a farmer. I’ve been refused bale”
"Bail" shouldn't be confused with "bale," but there are jokes. "I got arrested yesterday for stealing hay from a farmer. I’ve been refused bale" was posted on…
“Haven’t gotten anything done today. Been in the produce dept., trying to open this stupid bag”
The plastic bags in supermarkets are difficult for many people to open. "Sorry I haven’t gotten anything done today. I've been in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid…
“I always tell my kids to stay in school. But they keep coming back”
"Stay in school" means that students shouldn't drop out, but some parents take this literally. "Every morning I tell my kids how important it is for them to stay in school...…
“On top of spaghetti all covered with cheese…”
Entry in progress -- BP Wikipedia: On Top of Old Smoky"On Top of Old Smoky" (often spelled "Smokey") is a traditional folk song of the United States. As recorded by The Weavers,…
“Man charged with stealing hay denied bale”
"Bail" shouldn't be confused with "bale," but there are jokes. "I got arrested yesterday for stealing hay from a farmer. I’ve been refused bale" was posted on…
“How do you know if someone is vaccinated?”/“Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in vaccines, and many people advertised their vaccinations on social media. A joke about this is: "How do you know if someone is…
“Never trust an electrician with fuzzy hair”
"Never trust an electrician with fuzzy hair" is a joke. The fuzzy hair may mean that he has been shocked. "Never trust an Electrician with fuzzy hair" was posted on Sickipedia…
“Big Apple” (Dan Burley’s Original Handbook of Harlem Jive, 1944)
Dan Burley (1907-1962) was an American pianist and journalist. From Dan Burley's Original handbook of Harlem Jive (1944): Big Apple -- Harlem, New York City, any Big TownBig Red with the Long…
New Orange (not Big Orange; 1673-1674)
It is sometimes said that before New York City was the "Big Apple," it was the "Big Orange." New York City was called "New Orange" from 1673 to 1674, but this is…
“New York is a sucked orange” (not Big Apple; Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1860)
Ralph Waldo Emerson called New York City "a sucked orange" in an essay printed in 1860. A "sucked orange" has no juice. Emerson didn't like New York. The "sucked…
Vaxie or Vaxxie (vaccine/vaccination selfie)
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in vaccines. People took vaccine/vaccination selfies, which were dubbed a "vaxxie" (or, less frequently, "vaxie"). "Nothing…
“When I was young, I was poor. But after years of hard, honest work, I’m no longer young”
"When I was young, I was poor. But after years of hard, honest work, I'm happy to inform I'm no longer young" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen”
Tom Smothers performed on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, an American comedy and variety show television series from 1979 to 1969. The network didn't like some of the political satire and…
“What has three feet, but can’t walk?”/“A yardstick.”
A yardstick riddle is: Q: What has three feet, but can't walk?A: A yardstick. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1899. Newspapers.com26 August 1899, The Champaign County News…
“Auto-correct walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An auto-correct version is: "Auto-correct walks into a bar. And the batman says,…
Vaxxie or Vaxie (vaccine/vaccination selfie)
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in vaccines. People took vaccine/vaccination selfies, which were dubbed a "vaxxie" (or, less frequently, "vaxie"). "Nothing…