“Currently standing in front of my pantry eating a ‘temporary’ snack…”
Some people eat a "temporary" snack while deciding on a permanent snack. "Currently standing in front of my pantry eating a 'temporary' snack while trying to decide on a…
Archive for 05/2021
“Someone should start a rumor of a shortage of jobs so everybody panics and gets one”
The year 2020 saw panic buying of toilet paper. The year 2021 saw panic buying of gasoline. This was posted on Facebook by Michael Wayne Hurst on May 10, 2021: "Someone should start a rumor of…
“Hasta barista, baby”
"Hasta la vista, baby" is a famous line that actor Arnold Schwarzenegger used in the film Terminator 2: Judgment Day. "Hasta barista, baby" is a line that has been printed on…
“What flavor is the toothpaste in jail?”/“Imprisonmint.”
"Imprisonment" shouldn't be confused with "imprisonmint," but there are jokes. "What flavour is the toothpaste in jail? Imprisonmint" was posted on Reddit --…
Frankenshot (Frankenstein + vaccination shot)
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in vaccine shots/jabs. Some people dubbed the shots "Frankenshot" (Frankenstein + vaccination shot). "We don't want your shit filled…
“Blackened Chicken Recipe: 1. Clean chicken 2. Place chicken in oven 3. Go check Twitter”
"Blackened chicken" does not mean chicken that's burned, but there are jokes. "Blackened chicken" is a popular Cajun recipe that involves spices and high heat.…
Frankenjab (Frankenstein + vaccination jab)
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in vaccine shots/jabs. Some people dubbed the jabs "Frankenjab" (Frankenstein + vaccination jab). "The frankenjab murders people"…
“What did the Terminator say after he got his coffee?”/“Hasta barista, baby.”
"Hasta la vista, baby" is a famous line that actor Arnold Schwarzenegger used in the film Terminator 2: Judgment Day. "Hasta barista, baby" is a line that has been printed on…
“I wanted to go to the gym tonight, but the avocado I bought last week will finally be ripe…”
An avocado is ripe for only a very brief time, and there are jokes. "I wanted to go out tonight, but the avocado I bought this wk will finally be ripe enough to eat between 8pm-8:15pm -- so I…
“Big Apple” float (NY Daily News in Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, 1977-2017)
the Daily News (New York, NY) newspaper had a "Big Apple" float in the annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade from 1977 until 2017 (except for the years 1990, 2000 and 2004). Three…
Schmearlier or Schmelier (schmear expert)
A "sommelier" is a wine steward. In January 2020, Philadelphia Cream Cheese advertised the "schmelier," an expert on schmearing cream cheese. "Schmearlier" is an…
“Blackened Chicken Recipe: 1. Clean chicken 2. Place chicken in oven 3. Go check social media”
"Blackened chicken" does not mean chicken that's burned, but there are jokes. "Blackened chicken" is a popular Cajun recipe that involves spices and high heat.…
“All I do is work, go home, blink a few times then it’s back to work”
"All I do is work, go home, blink a few times then it's back to work" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Finish work, go home, blink, go back to work!…
Schmelier or Schmearlier (schmear expert)
A "sommelier" is a wine steward. In January 2020, Philadelphia Cream Cheese advertised the "schmelier," an expert on schmearing cream cheese. "Schmearlier" is an…
“Blackened Chicken Recipe: 1. Clean chicken 2. Place chicken in oven 3. Go check Instagram”
"Blackened chicken" does not mean chicken that's burned, but there are jokes. "Blackened chicken" is a popular Cajun recipe that involves spices and high heat.…
“We need to quit calling DC a swamp. A swamp is a place with an amazing ecosystem. DC is a sewer”
Washington, DC (the seat of the U.S. federal government) is often called a swamp, but many do not believe that is accurate. "DC is a cesspool calling it a swamp is wrong Swamps are an…
“Blackened Chicken Recipe: 1. Clean chicken 2. Place chicken in oven 3. Go check Facebook”
"Blackened chicken" does not mean chicken that's burned, but there are jokes. "Blackened chicken" is a popular Cajun recipe that involves spices and high heat.…
“Hockey is a dangerous sport last time I checked”
Checking in ice hockey often results in injuries. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on May 11, 2021: "Hockey is a dangerous sport last time I checked." Wikipedia: Checking (ice…
“COVID-19 & the flu are like Superman & Clark Kent. You never see them in the same room…”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic numbers went up in 2020 and 2021, and flu numbers went down. Many compared this to Superman and Clark Kent. "Quite simple really stop calling it #covid19…
“Bacon is 73% fat and very salty. Me too, bacon. Me too”
"Bacon is 73% fat and very salty. Me too, bacon. Me too" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Bacon is 73% fat and very salty. Me too, bacon. Me too" was…