“What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, and never has 5 letters”
"What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, and never has 5 letters" is a riddle -- until it's figured out that it is a statement. The word "what" has four letters, the…
Archive for 04/2021
“Judge, I want to contest 80% of my parking tickets” (joke)
A traffic court joke was posted on Twitter by Terry F on May 3, 2016: [traffic court]Your honor, I'm here to dispute 4 of my 5 ticketsJUDGE: Repeat infractions?Ok, I'm here to dispute…
“How do you know when Dracula catches Coronavirus?”/“When he’s always coffin.”
A joke about Dracula (a literary character associated with vampires) and coffin (coughing) became popular in 2020 with the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic. "How do you know when Dracula…
“Why did Dracula get tested for Covid-19?”/“Because of his coffin.”
A joke about Dracula (a literary character associated with vampires) and coffin (coughing) became popular in 2020 with the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic. "How do you know when Dracula…
“What do you call medical students who graduated online?”/“Google Docs.”
Google Docs ("docs" is short for "documents") has nothing to do with "doctors," but there are jokes. "What do you call physicians who work at Google? Google…
“Judge, 60% of my parking tickets are bogus” (joke)
A traffic court joke was posted on Twitter by Terry F on May 3, 2016: [traffic court]Your honor, I'm here to dispute 4 of my 5 ticketsJUDGE: Repeat infractions?Ok, I'm here to dispute…
“Took a tip to buy shares in fermented apple juice. Got accused of in cider trading”
"In cider trading" is a pun on "insider trading." "I was thrown out of the London Stock Exchange for standing in a bucket of Scrumpy, apparently there's rules against…
“I don’t know if my pants are feeling loose because I’m losing weight, or the elastic…”
"I don't know if my pants are feeling loose because I'm losing weight, or the elastic is finally giving up the fight" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Censorship is the child of fear, the father of ignorance, desperate weapon of fascists everywhere”
"Censorship is the child of fear and the father of ignorance" is a saying that has been printed on many images. American author Laurie Halse Anderson wrote in Speak (1999):…
“What did the sleepy dragon order at the fancy steakhouse?”/“Flaming yawn.”
"Filet mignon" can sound like "flamin' yawn," and there are jokes. "What's a tired dragons favorite steak? Sarah: Flamin'yawn! (filet mignon)" was…
“If you cannot question it, it’s not science. It’s propaganda”
Some people try to end an argument by simply stating, "It's science!" However, the science can be questioned. "If you cannot question it, it’s not science. It’s…
“What has a foot, but no leg?”/“A ruler.”
A metric riddle is: Q: What has a foot, but no leg?A: A ruler. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2014. TwitterAgustina@OlmosA_@Calum5SOScalum hood from 5sos what has a footbut no…
“Got thrown out of the Stock Exchange for sitting in a bath full of Scrumpy, In cider trading”
"In cider trading" is a pun on "insider trading." "I was thrown out of the London Stock Exchange for standing in a bucket of Scrumpy, apparently there's rules against…
“Did you hear about the guy who made a fortune investing in Apple? He was in cider trading”
"In cider trading" is a pun on "insider trading." "I was thrown out of the London Stock Exchange for standing in a bucket of Scrumpy, apparently there's rules against…
“What’s a tired dragon’s favorite steak?”/“Flamin’ yawn.”
"Filet mignon" can sound like "flamin' yawn," and there are jokes. "What's a tired dragons favorite steak? Sarah: Flamin'yawn! (filet mignon)" was…
“People bad mouth lotteries but everyone pays taxes and odds of winning the lottery…”
Many people feel that playing the lottery is wasting money. Many people also feel that paying taxes is wasting money. "I don't know why people bad mouth lotteries. I pay taxes and odds of…
“The Black Eyed Peas can sing us a tune, but the chick peas can only hummus one”
"Hummus" can sound like the words "hum us." and there are jokes. One joke compares chickpeas to the Black Eyed Peas (an American musical group). "The Black Eyed Peas can…
New York Steamer (slang)
"New York Steamer" is a trademarked sub sandwich from Firehouse Subs, a Florida-based restaurant chain. The chain began in 1994, and the name was also trademarked in 1994. Firehouse Subs…
“The media is the virus. People’s behavior is the pandemic. Common sense is the cure”
“The media is the virus” is what some have said about Covid-19 (coronavirus). "The media is the virus. People's behavior is the pandemic. Common sense is the cure" is a saying…
“What do you call a sad strawberry?”/“A blueberry.”
A berry riddle is: Q: What do you call a sad strawberry?A: A blueberry. That is, the berry is "blue" (sad). The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1989. Newspapers.com26…