“Land of the fees, home of the caged”
"O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?" is the last line of the first stanza of the U.S. national anthem. "Land of the fees, home of the caged" has been…
Archive for 02/2021
“Why did the computer cross the road?”/“To get another bus.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. There are several computer variations. "Why did the computer…
“How do you know when the weather is entertained?”/“When the thunder claps.”
Entry in progress -- BP Wiktionary: thunderclapNounthunderclap (plural thunderclaps)1. A sudden, loud thunder caused by a nearby lightning strike; a shock of thunder, as opposed to a reverberating…
“Eating more fresh vegetables makes you an expert pooper. It’s right in the name: Pro deuce”
"Produce" sounds like "pro-deuce," and a pun is: "Fruits and vegetables prevent constipation. That's why they call it pro-deuce." "Deuce" means…
“Why does lightning shock people?”/“Because it doesn’t know how to conduct itself.”
A lightning riddle is: Q: Why does lightning shock people? A: Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself. Lightning conducts electricity. The joke was printed in many newspapers in November…
“English major. You do the math”
“I’m an English major. You do the math” is a saying that has been printed on many images. "You do the math" is an expression that means "you figure it out," but sometimes…
“I got kicked out of the hospital after telling the coronavirus infected patients to stay positive”
"Stay positive" usually means to stay optimistic, but for a Covid test to "stay positive" means that the person still has the disease. The original authorship of a popular…
“I went for a job as a contortionist. They asked, ‘How flexible are you?’” (joke)
A person can be physically flexible, and the person's schedule can also be flexible. There are several jokes. "So I said to the Gym instructor 'Can you teach me to do the…
“What’s the point of being afraid of the zombie apocalypse when you’re already a zombie?”
"What's the point of being afraid of the zombie apocalypse when you're already a zombie?" is a saying that has been shown on several images. The most popular image shows…
“I asked my gym instructor, “Can you teach me to do the splits?’ He said, ‘How flexible are you?’”
A person can be physically flexible, and the person's schedule can also be flexible. There are several jokes. "So I said to the Gym instructor 'Can you teach me to do the…
“Words cannot express how much I hate emojis”
Emojis are "picture words." "Words do not describe how much I hate emojis" was posted on Twitter by Jack on March 7, 2014. "Words cannot express how much I hate emojis.…
“Pornhub now has a category for Coronavirus videos. It’s for sick fucks”
Pornhub is a Canadian-owned internet pornography website. A joke is that the website is for "sick fucks" -- the word "sick" meaning "twisted" or…
“In alcohol’s defense, I’ve done some pretty dumb stuff while sober, too”
"In alcohol's/beer's/tequila's defense, I've done some pretty dumb stuff while sober, too" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I've…
“What do you get when you cross a highway with a bicycle?”/“Run over.”
A highway riddle is: Q: What do you get when you cross a highway with a bicycle?A: Run over. The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on July 9, 1992. Google Groups: rec.humorClean Joke…
“In beer’s defense, I’ve done some pretty dumb stuff while sober, too”
"In alcohol's/beer's/tequila's defense, I've done some pretty dumb stuff while sober, too" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I've…
“Back in my day, it was a game of dodgeball where you found out who really didn’t like you”
"Back in my day, it was a game of dodgeball where you found out who really didn't like you" is a saying that has been printed on many images. A person who didn't like you would…
“Deposed kings get throne away”
A royal riddle is: Q: What happens to deposed kings?A: They get throne away. "Throne away" is a pun on "thrown away." The riddle was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on August…
“What happens to deposed kings?”/“They get throne away.”
A royal riddle is: Q: What happens to deposed kings?A: They get throne away. "Throne away" is a pun on "thrown away." The riddle was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on August…
“Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my metabolism the most”
"Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my metabolism the most" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the things people used to eat (and burn off) when they were…
“We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass”
"We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Sheep" means an order-complying animal. "We are a nation of…