“Short people can’t reach an agreement”
"Why do people argue with short people, when we all know their heights wont make them reach an agreement?" was posted on Twitter by Olamilekan on August 5, 2019. "Short people…
Archive for 01/2021
“A horse runs into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." “A horse walks into a bar. Show jumping at its worst” is a related joke. Reddit --…
“Foible. In England, it’s a minor eccentricity in character. In New York, it’s what a cat pukes”
A joke on the New York City accent was posted on Twitter by Bob Kostic (and others) on January 11, 2015: "Foible. In England, it's a minor weakness or eccentricity in someone's…
“I’ve got some racing geese for sale. Let me know if you want a quick gander”
"My friend Kenny has loads of racing geese for sale if anyone wants a quick gander" was posted on Twitter by trouteyes on August 11, 2017. The word "gander" can mean both…
“The bank wants to repossess my tree house. I’m convinced it’s a mix up from when I moved branches”
Banks have "branches," and there are puns. "The bank want to repossess my tree-house. They say I haven't kept up my payments but I'm sure it's just a mix-up from when…
“A pickle is a cucumber soured by a jarring experience”
"A bit of humor: A pickle is a cucumber soured by a jarring experience" was printed in The Current Local (Van Buren, MO) on July 14, 1988. "'A pickle is a cucumber soured by a…
“How does a cucumber become a pickle?”/“It goes through a jarring experience.”
"A bit of humor: A pickle is a cucumber soured by a jarring experience" was printed in The Current Local (Van Buren, MO) on July 14, 1988. "'A pickle is a cucumber soured by a…
“Why did the oven go back to University?”/“To get another degree.”
An oven riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 31, 2014: Q: Why did the oven go back to University?A: To get another degree. The joke was the "Laugh of the Day" on…
“Definition of a pickle: A cucumber soured by a jarring experience”
"A bit of humor: A pickle is a cucumber soured by a jarring experience" was printed in The Current Local (Van Buren, MO) on July 14, 1988. "'A pickle is a cucumber soured by a…
“Most people want to serve got, but only in an advisory capacity”
"Most people want/wish to serve God, but only in an advisory capacity" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Most people wish to serve God, but in an advisory capacity…
“What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?”/“Ham boogers.”
"Hamburgers" should not be confused with "ham boogers." but there are puns. This was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on November 19, 1992: Q: What do you get when a pig picks…
“Refried beans are technically beanut butter”
Entry in progress -- BP TwitterWelman@1Welman1I propose a name change from refried beans to beanut butter11:46 AM · Jun 5, 2014·Twitter for iPhone Twitterimmy Neutron, Boy Penius@shieldman18Why…
“I bought an exercise machine, but when I assembled it, a message kept flashing up…” (joke)
A "cross-trainer" (elliptical trainer) is not the same thing as a "trainer who is cross," but there are jokes. This was posted on Twitter by Bob Kostic on January 10, 2018:…
“September ended. Somebody wake up that guy from Green Day” (October 1 joke)
"Wake Me Up When September Ends" is a 2005 acoustic ballad by American rock band Green Day. "September ended. Somebody wake up that guy from Green Day" is a popular October 1st…
“A masochist walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." There are several versions involving a masochist walking into a physical "bar."…
“Jenga is the most depressing game. There are no winners. Just one loser who fucks everything up”
Jenga is a game where players take turns removing one block at a time from a tower of 54 blocks. If the tower collapses, that player "loses" and the other players "win."…
“People never tell you when it’s their first rodeo, but are eager to inform you when it’s not”
“This ain’t my first rodeo” (or "This is not my first rodeo") is a popular saying. The saying almost always uses the negative in discussing a first rodeo. This was posted on Reddit…
“A nihilist, a socialist, and a neo-marxist walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A political version is: "A nihilist, a socialist, and a neo-marxist walk into a bar…
“Why do people put ketchup on french fries, but not on mashed potatoes?”
"Potatoes are a weird food like that, for example, many people put ketchup on french fries, but few people put ketchup on mashed potatoes" was posted on the newsgroup…
“How do you tell a male door from a female door?”/“One’s got a ding-dong, the other has knockers.”
A door riddle (containing sex slang) is: Q: How do you tell a male door from a female door? A: One's got a ding-dong, the other has knockers. The joke was posted on Twitter by Aman on…