“I don’t believe in reincarnation. Who wants to come back as a tin of milk?”
Reincarnation has nothing to do with Carnation brand evaporated milk, but there are jokes. "Who wants to come back as a tin of milk ?????" was posted on the newsgroup…
Archive for 12/2020
Cutlery, Stablery, Scooplery (knives, forks, spoons)
The knife, fork and spoon constitute "cutlery," but many people believe that only the knife qualifies at cutlery because it "cuts." Forks have sometimes been called…
“At 12:01 am on January 1, for the first time ever, hind sight will actually be 2020”
The year 2020 had some "2020 vision" jokes. This was posted on Facebook by Joe Haenn on December 18, 2020: "At 12:01 am on Jan 1, for the first time ever, Hind Sight will actually be…
“Here’s a joke for all you mind readers out there…”
"Here's a joke for all the/you mind readers out there..." (or "Here's a question for you mind readers out there...") is a social media joke that has been printed on…
“If knives and forks are cutlery, spoons are scooplery”
The knife, fork and spoon constitute "cutlery," but many people believe that only the knife qualifies at cutlery because it "cuts." Forks have sometimes been called…
“I’m bringing out a new version of the Band Aid song, ‘Duvet Know It’s Christmas?’ It’s a cover!”
"Do They Know It's Christmas?" (1984) is a song that was written by Bob Geldof and Midge Ure and performed by a British and Irish supergroup called Band Aid, in an effort to aid…
Cutlery, Pokelery, Scooplery (knives, forks, spoons)
The knife, fork and spoon constitute "cutlery," but many people believe that only the knife qualifies at cutlery because it "cuts." Forks have sometimes been called…
“Thought I could put dolphin in my fish pie. Until I noticed I was using all porpoise flour”
"All-purpose flour" (also called "AP flour") can be used for baking many things, although professional bakers usually use other flours. "Purpose" should not be…
“All porpoise flour is NOT dolphin safe”
"All-purpose flour" (also called "AP flour") can be used for baking many things, although professional bakers usually use other flours. "Purpose" should not be…
“People would take ‘brownie points’ more seriously if they resulted in actual brownies”
"Brownie points" usually cannot be collected to earn brownies (a food), but many people wish that this would be the definition of the term. "FWIW, my kids were bitterly disappointed…
“Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter”
"Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter" is a winter holiday tip that has been printed on many images. That is, the white stuff falling…
“You should be able to redeem brownie points for actual brownies”
"Brownie points" usually cannot be collected to earn brownies (a food), but many people wish that this would be the definition of the term. "FWIW, my kids were bitterly disappointed…
“What does a dolphin bake with?”/“All porpoise flour.”
"All-purpose flour" (also called "AP flour") can be used for baking many things, although professional bakers usually use other flours. "Purpose" should not be…
“Always jingle all the way! Nobody likes a half-assed jingler”
"Always jingle all the way! Nobody likes a half-assed jingler" -- a joke on the "jingle all the way" line in the Christmas song "Jingle Bells" -- is a saying that has…
“Alcohol: The WD40 for conversations”
"Alcohol: The WD40 for conversations" (or "Beer: The WD40 for conversations" has been printed on many images. WD-40 is a lubricant. "Beer: The WD40 for conversations"…
“Beer: The WD40 for conversations”
"Alcohol: The WD40 for conversations" (or "Beer: The WD40 for conversations" has been printed on many images. WD-40 is a lubricant. "Beer: The WD40 for conversations"…
“Alcohol is the WD-40 for my brain”
"Alcohol: The WD40 for conversations" (or "Beer: The WD40 for conversations" has been printed on many images. WD-40 is a lubricant. "Beer: The WD40 for conversations"…
“Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate”
"Whenever I say the word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate" (or "Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate"…
“The only problem with dancing naked is that not everything stops when the music stops”
"The only problem with dancing naked is that not everything stops when the music does/stops" -- that is, the body fat still jiggles -- is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“The Central Park Zoo should be named ‘Zoo York’”
Could New York City's Central Park Zoo have a better name? "Zoo York" is the name of a subway tunnel that runs under the Central Park Zoo. "The Central Park Zoo should be named…