“It’s about time I got out of that cookie” (fortune cookie message)
A jocular fortune cookie message, "It's about time I got out of that/this cookie," has been printed on many images. "Fortune cookie message: 'It's about time I got out…
Archive for 06/2020
“We used to live on a very busy main road..” (joke)
When people say that they live on a very busy street, they do not usually mean living in the actual street -- but there are jokes. This joke was posted on Sickipedia in 2015 and 2017: "We used…
“This is a mind control device” (face mask message)
"This is a mind control device" is a face mask message that has been printed on many images. The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made the wearing of face masks mandatory in many places.…
“What is a Karen called in Europe?”/“An American.”
A riddle about a "Karen" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on June 27, 2020: Q: What is a Karen called in Europe?A: An American. An older, related term is "Ugly American."…
“Nothing tops a cheese pizza”
To say that "nothing tops" something usually means that it's the best, but what about a plain cheese pizza without any toppings? "Nothing tops a cheese pizza" was posted on…
“You are not illiterate” (fortune cookie message)
A jocular fortune cookie message, "You are not illiterate," has been printed on many images. Many people consider it the worst fortune cookie ever, because who wants to read that one can…
“Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar” (joke)
"Is the glass half empty or half full?" is a common expression. A joke version was posted on Twitter by Bob Kostic on February 15, 2018: "Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity…
“I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit. No more Mr. Knife guy”
"Mr. Nice Guy" should not be confused with "Mr. Knife Guy," but there are jokes. "The UK's sole remaining cutlery repair business closed today. No more Mr Knife…
“Teaching is like a bad marriage. You never get your needs met, but you stay in it for the kids”
"These days teaching is like a bad marriage you stay in it for the kids" was posted on Twitter by Brooke on June 13, 2014. "Teaching is like being in a bad marriage: you stay, but…
“Two elves walk into a bar. A dwarf walks under it” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An elf version is: "Two elves walk into a bar. The dwarf laughs and walks under…
“If you abbreviate in sign language, is it called short hand?”
"Are abbreviations in sign language called 'shorthand'?" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by J. W. Sullivan on September 17, 2011. "If you abbreviate in sign language,…
“I bought my wig at a discount store. Didn’t want toupee full price”
"Toupee" sounds like "to pay." A joke was posted on Sickipedia on December 20, 2019: "I bought my wig at a discount store. Didn't want toupee full price."…
“‘That wasn’t chicken.’ Worst fortune cookie ever”
A fortune cookie is usually eaten at the end of a meal. A jocular fortune cookie message, "That wasn't chicken," has been printed on many images. "Funny magazine ad for Sauza…
“Autocorrect and I have a love hat relationship”
"I have a love hat relationship with auto-correct...." -- a pun on "love-hate relationship" -- was posted on Twitter by John Daugherty on August 7, 2011. "I have a love hat…
“He who controls the memes controls the world”
"Who controls the memes controls the world" was posted on Twitter by Jaya (1=(∞/0)) on January 30, 2009. "'He who controls the memes controls the world.' - Julius…
“Smoke brisket, not drugs”
"Smoke brisket, not crack/drugs/meth/weed" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "The Luscious Department of Narcotics & BBQ (NARBQUE) would like to remind…
“Smoke brisket, not crack”
"Smoke brisket, not crack/drugs/meth/weed" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "The Luscious Department of Narcotics & BBQ (NARBQUE) would like to remind…
“Smoke brisket, not meth”
"Smoke brisket, not crack/drugs/meth/weed" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "The Luscious Department of Narcotics & BBQ (NARBQUE) would like to remind…
“What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing”
"What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing" is a joke that has been printed on several images. The word "timing" is misplaced and should be in a new…
“Smoke brisket, not weed”
"Smoke brisket, not crack/drugs/meth/weed" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "The Luscious Department of Narcotics & BBQ (NARBQUE) would like to remind…