“New Yorkers think ‘upstate’ is anything north of the Bronx”
An old joke has it that a New Yorker considers anything north of the Bronx to be "upstate." The Bronx is the most northern borough of New York City. This definition of "upstate"…
Archive for 06/2020
“Every bartender I’ve ever met is better at de-escalating conflict than the police”
The George Floyd protests in May and June 2020 were against police brutality and racism in policing. Some people contrasted the police with how bartenders handle disputes. "Every bartender…
“You know it’s bad when you don’t even get morning skinny anymore”
Some overweight people at least feel skinny in the morning. "You know the holiday season/freshman 15 is approaching when you don’t even get morning skinny anymore" was posted on Twitter…
“This year I won’t be going to the Maldives because of covid19” (joke)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic cancelled international travel plans for many people. "This year I won't be going to the Maldives because of covid19. Normally I don't go to the…
“I wear a mask while jogging. It’s a running gag”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some requirements to wear face masks. Many people felt gagged by the masks. "I wear a mask while jogging. It's a running gag" was…
“The ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ film was a big lie. They didn’t damage a single chainsaw”
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre is a 1974 American slasher film. A joke was posted on Sickipedia and reposted on Twitter on September 21, 2013: "The 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' film was a…
“A hangover is just your body reminding you that you’re an idiot”
"A hangover is just your body reminding you that you’re an idiot" is a drinking saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Trevor S on August 29,…
“3.14159265 walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Pi (3.1414159265...) version is: "3.14159265 walks into a bar and the barman says,…
“Have you heard the joke about getting rid of COVID? It’s a riot!”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic in March and April 2020 was followed by the George Floyd protests in late May 2020. "Have you heard the joke about getting rid of COVID?? It's a…
“If we can just get through this month, we only have one more month to go before we need to…”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made people take things day by day. "If we can just get through this month, we only have one more month to go before we need to get through another…
“Stop crying about your problems on internet. Bottle them up inside and disguise them with humor”
"Stop crying about your problems on the internet. Bottle them up inside and disguise them with dark inappropriate humor, like a grown up" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“In boring classes, I always improve my drawing skills”
"In boring classes, I always improve my drawing skills" is a school saying that has been printed on many images. "Benefits of boring classes: 1)improve drawing skills" was…
“What has college taught you?”/“That no matter how much sleep I get I’ll always be tired.”
College is a lot of work. "I've learned in college that no matter how much sleep I get I'll always be tired the next day, so might as well stay up and her shit done" was posted…
“Worms in apples has been less of a problem than what we expected as kids”
Children are often taught about worms in apples. "Growing up, I thought quicksand and worms in apples would be much more prevalent problems in my life. I have yet to encounter either" was…
“Being an adult is eating the crust not because you like it, but because you paid for it”
Many people do not like to eat pizza crusts. However, some people reason that they paid for a pizza, so they might as well eat the whole thing. "Not eating crust is some childish shit. If I…
“My Greek yogurt is expired. Does this make it Ancient Greek yogurt now?”
Does expired Greek yogurt acquire more culture and become Ancient Greek yogurt? "And the yogurt's so old it's officially Ancient Greek yogurt!" was posted on Twitter by Duncan…
“If I were a judge, I’d change my surname to Mental”
Is there a judgmental judge named Judge Mental? "Or I'll change my last name to 'Mental' so when I get my own show they'll say; 'all rise for Judge Mental'"…
“What’s next, is vinegar going to be renamed vi?”
The Black Lives Matter movement resulted in some name changes, such as the band Lady Antebellum changing to the name Lady A. This was posted on Sickipedia on June 12, 2020: "Episodes of Fawlty…
“‘Lazy’ is such an ugly word. I prefer the term ‘selective participation’”
"'Lazy' is such an ugly word. I prefer the term 'selective participation'" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer…
“Husband and I went grocery shopping with masks, got home, took off masks…wrong husband!”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some requirements to wear face masks. "Husband and I went grocery shopping with masks. Got home, took off masks, brought home wrong husband! Stay…