“Marriage. Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work”
"Marriage. Because your shitty day doesn't have to end at work" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "@sickipediabot: Marriage. Because your shitty day…
Archive for 05/2020
“So when quarantine is over, will the producers of ‘My 600 Pound Life’ just find me?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in home quarantines. Many people ate a lot and got fat. "So after the quarantine..will the producers of 'My 600-lb Life' just find me, or…
“Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little shits called in a bomb threat”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in school closures and homeschooling. "Homeschooling day 3: The Principal called in a bomb threat" was posted on Twitter by PoppaDoo on March…
“Hitler wasn’t all bad. After all, he did kill Hitler”
German politician and leader of the Nazi Party Adolf Hitler (1889-1945) shot himself in the head on April 30, 1945, just as Soviet troops were approaching. (Many believe tat Hitler escaped to South…
“I’m looking for someone who loves me for my money, but isn’t good at math”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterLeftoverCake.com@LeftoverCakeI need a chick who loves me for my money but ain't too good at math.9:24 PM · Jun 9, 2010·Twitter Web Client TwitterKarl A.…
“I’m looking for a woman who loves me for my money, but isn’t good at math”
"I need to find a woman who loves me for my money, but isn't very good at math" was said by American stand-up comedian Mike Birbiglia and printed in The Morning Call (Allentown, PA)…
“Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in school closures and homeschooling. "Homeschooling day 3: The Principal called in a bomb threat" was posted on Twitter by PoppaDoo on March…
“I’m looking for a girl who loves me for my money, but isn’t good at math”
"I need to find a woman who loves me for my money, but isn't very good at math" was said by American stand-up comedian Mike Birbiglia and printed in The Morning Call (Allentown, PA)…
“Socialism: Equal amounts of zero”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterJuxtin Spaceman@postpunkjustinA guest on Glenn Beck just called net neutrality "Socialism for the internet--everyone gets equal amounts of nothing."…
“Socialism: Guaranteeing everyone equal amounts of nothing”
One criticism of socialism is that it does not make everyone equally rich, but that it makes everyone equally poor. "A guest on Glenn Beck just called net neutrality 'Socialism for the…
“The problem is not who sits on the throne. The problem is that there is a throne to sit on”
Larken Rose wrote this in his book The Most Dangerous Superstition (2011): "Many have been able to recognize and oppose specific acts of tyranny by specific regimes, but very few have…
“Just because I give you advice doesn’t mean I know more than you”
"Just because I give you advice doesn’t mean I know more than you. It just means I've done more stupid shit" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Just because I…
“I just bought one of those real life sex dolls and she’s so realistic she just wants to be friends”
Some men are so unfortunate that they can't get lucky with a sex doll. "I'm terrible with women. Even my sex doll only wants to be friends" was posted on Twitter by Hasan LaLa…
“If we continue wearing masks, the next generation will think a mouth is a private part”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many requirements to wear face masks. "I think Americans would even accept mandatory face masks over isolation. I predict by next year, the human…
“Straws are the opposite of snorkels”
A straw sucks air up. Snorkling sucks air down. "Did you guys realize that drinking water out of a straw is the exact opposite of snorkeling?" was posted on Twitter by Jenny Gaynor on…
“Home invasions should decline. Everyone is at home with guns…”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic led some to speculate about home invasions -- or, rather, a lack of them. "Home invasions should decline. Everyone is at home with guns and enough bleach and…
“Drinking water through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling”
A straw sucks air up. Snorkling sucks air down. "Did you guys realize that drinking water out of a straw is the exact opposite of snorkeling?" was posted on Twitter by Jenny Gaynor on…
America’s Mad Playground (Coney Island)
Coney Island has long been New York City's popular beach and playground destination every summer. It has been called "New York’s/America’s/People’s Playground" since at least…
“Insisting on rights without acknowledging responsibilities isn’t freedom, it’s adolescence”
"Insisting on your rights without acknowledging your responsibilities isn’t freedom, it’s adolescence" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying became popular…
“If you don’t like the mafia, why don’t you join it and change it from the inside?”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterSteve Cox@RealSteveCox"If you don't like the mafia, why don't you join it and change it from the inside?"Quote TweetGeoff Campbell…