“If you catch the coronavirus twice, is it called Dos Equis?”
A coronavirus has nothing to do with Corona beer, but a joke was posted on Twitter by Zach Walsh (and others) on March 4, 2020: "If you get corona virus twice is it called Dos Equis??"…
Archive for 03/2020
“The Starbucks barista was wearing a face mask. It was a coughy filter”
A coffee filter shouldn’t be confused with a "coughy filter," but there are jokes. "In an emergency flu masks can be used as coughy filters" was posted on Twitter by Simon…
“What do cars put on their toast?”/“Traffic jam.”
A car riddle was printed in the Los Angeles (CA) Times on May 9, 2006: Q: What does a car put on its toast? A: Traffic jam. "What do cars put on their toast? Traffic jam #BestJokeEver"…
“What do you call an Instagram celebrity who got coronavirus?”/“An influenzer.”
Social media has "influencers." "Influenzer" (influenza + influencer) is an obvious portmanteau word. "What the hell is an influenzer? Did this nigga just call me the flu?…
“The magician said to take a card, any card. So I took his credit card”
"The magician said to take a card, any card. So I took his credit card" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "RT @FunnyJoker: A street magician came up to me at the…
“The only thing i have planned for today is to get my new glasses. Then I’ll see what happens”
Many people wait to "see what happens," but that's usually not taken literally. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on December 30, 2019: "The only thing I have planned for…
“Few people know this, but the tiny pocket on your jeans is for your salary”
Many people wear jeans to work, and most jeans have a small pocket (originally for a watch). "Few people know this, but the tiny pocket on your jeans is for your salary" is a jocular…
“I’ve got to stay home. I have a case of anal blindness…” (work joke)
A joke has an employee calling a boss and explaining that he/she is not feeling well and suffers from "anal blindness." What is anal blindness? "I can't see my ass/arse coming…
“Cinco de Mayo will fall on Taco Tuesday. This is it people. This is what we’ve been training for”
Cinco de Mayo ("the fifth of May," a popular day of celebration in the United States of Mexican-American culture) sometimes falls on a Tuesday ("Taco Tuesday"). "This year,…
“I wonder what the part of my brain that used to remember phone numbers is up to these days”
People used to remember phone numbers, but electronic devices now remember phone numbers. "The part of my brain that used to remember phone numbers is now filled with website passwords. I…
“What does a car put on its toast?”/“Traffic jam.”
A car riddle was printed in the Los Angeles (CA) Times on May 9, 2006: Q: What does a car put on its toast? A: Traffic jam. "What do cars put on their toast? Traffic jam #BestJokeEver"…
“May your college memories last longer than your student loan payments”
"May your college memories last as long as your student loan payments" -- student loan payments can last for a very long time -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“For each petal on the shamrock, this brings a wish your way…” (Irish saying)
A St. Patrick's Day poem is: "For each petal on the shamrock.,This brings a wish your way --Good health, good luck, and happinessFor today and every day." Authorship is unknown. The…
“May the luck of the Irish lead to happiest heights…” (Irish blessing)
A St. Patrick's Day poem is: "May the luck of the IrishLead to happiest heights.And the highway you travelBe lined with green lights!" Authorship is unknown. The poem was printed in…
“I paid my rent so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth”
"I paid my rent so don't ask me to come out. I'm at home getting my money's worth" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. So much money has been paid for…
“Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put clothes on and leave your house”
"Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the/your house" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the realities of life…
“The first rule of Passive Aggressive Club is…you know what? Never mind. It’s FINE”
"The first rule of Passive Aggressive Club is... you know what? Never mind. It's FINE" is a joke that has been printed on many images. The joke is a variation on the popular meme…
“Don’t let anyone treat you like free salsa. You are guac, baby girl. Guac”
Salsa is usually free at restaurants, but guacamole usually costs extra. "Don't let anyone treat you like free salsa. You are guac/guacamole, baby. Guac/Guacamole" is a jocular…
“Don’t let anyone treat you like free salsa. You are guacamole, baby. Guacamole”
Salsa is usually free at restaurants, but guacamole usually costs extra. "Don't let anyone treat you like free salsa. You are guac/guacamole, baby. Guac/Guacamole" is a jocular…
“Don’t worry if you’ve forgotten the first rule of Passive Aggressive Club, it’s fine”
"The first rule of Passive Aggressive Club is... you know what? Never mind. It's FINE" is a joke that has been printed on many images. The joke is a variation on the popular meme…