“What does a drummer use for contraception?”/” His personality.”
A drummer riddle is: Q: What does a drummer use for contraception?A: His personality! The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.music.christian on February 7, 1996. Google Groups:…
Archive for 06/2018
“Female wanted; must have own pub. Apply with inn”
Many want-ads say "apply within." "Friend reqired for drink fun: Apply with Inn" is a joke that was posted on Twitter on August 20, 2010. A joke included in Jokes for Blokes:…
“A friend told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn”
"When someone told me I lived in a fantasy land/world, I nearly fell off my unicorn" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I was out riding with my girlfriend.…
“What did the dog get when he graduated from school?”/“A pedigree.”
A dog riddle is: Q: What did the dog get when he graduated from school?A: A pedigree. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on November 16, 2004. The portmanteau word…
“A semicolon broke the law; it was given two consecutive sentences”
A semicolon riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on January 24, 2016: Q: What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?A: It was given two consecutive sentences. A different form of the joke…
“The body achieves what the mind believes”
"The body achieves what the mind believes" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is on many gym posters, and is of unknown authorship. Kitty Consolo…
“I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because I’m still looking for ideas”
"I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because I'm still looking for ideas" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown.…
“It is easier to do a job right than to explain why you didn’t”
"It is easier to do a job right than to explain why you didn't" is a wok saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is usually credited to American statesman Martin Van…
“When someone told me I lived in a fantasy land, I nearly fell off my unicorn”
"When someone told me I lived in a fantasy land/world, I nearly fell off my unicorn" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I was out riding with my girlfriend.…
“If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for 8 years, you can believe in yourself for 5 minutes”
Some people lack self-confidence. "If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for like 8 years, you can believe in yourself for like 5 minutes/seconds" is an inspirational saying that has…
“When shit happens, turn it into fertilizer”
"Shit happens" is a saying that became popular in the 1980s. "When shit happens, turn it into fertilizer" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Look back and be grateful, look ahead and be hopeful, look around and be helpful”
"Look back and be grateful, look ahead and be hopeful, look around and be helpful" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "'Look back and be grateful,…
“What did one vegetarian spy say to the other vegetarian spy?”/“We have to stop meating like this.”
"Meat" sounds like "meet." A vegetarian riddle has been cited in print since at least 2003: Q: What did one vegetarian spy say to the other vegetarian spy?A: "We have to…
“What’s the exchange rate between pounds, rubles, dollars?”/“A pound of rubles equals a dollar.”
A joke about the small value of the old Soviet Union's currency was posted on the newsgroup net.jokes on November 24, 1983: Q: What are the relative values of the British pound, American…
“You can buy education, but wisdom is a gift from God”
"You can buy education, but wisdom is a gift from God" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "You can buy EDUCATION, but WISDOM is a gift directly from…
“Gold medals are made of sweat, determination, and a hard-to-find alloy called guts”
"Gold medals really aren't made out of gold. They’re made of sweat, determination, and a hard-to-find alloy called guts" is a sports saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused”
"Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Blessed is he who can laugh at himself,…
“A wet man does not fear the rain”
"A wet man does not fear the rain" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "One already wet does not fear the rain" was listed as a Turkish proverb in…
“Discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most”
"Discipline is (just) choosing between what you want now and what you want most" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "'Discipline is choosing…
“What did one vegan say to the other vegan?”/“We have to stop meating like this.”
"Meat" sounds like "meet." A vegetarian riddle has been cited in print since at least 2003: Q: What did one vegetarian spy say to the other vegetarian spy?A: "We have to…