“Why did the piglets do badly in school?”/“They were all slow loiners.”
A piglet riddle is: Q: Why did the piglets do badly in school?A: They were all slow loiners. The "loiners"/"learners" pun was posted on Twitter on December 14, 2009.…
Archive for 04/2018
“What do you call a drunk humanitarian?”/“A philanthroPISSED.”
"Philanthropissed" (philanthropist + pissed) is a jocular portmanteau word that has had several defintions. "That well known philanthropissed the Jersey Jagsfan" was posted on…
“Wednesday is like small Friday”
"Wednesday is like small Friday" is a saying that has been printed on an image. "The Wednesday is a small Friday" was posted on the newsgroup soc.penpals on December 8, 1997.…
“It’s a great day to curl up with a book, then ignore it because, ya know, the internet”
"Everyday is a great day to curl up with a really good book and then completely ignore it because, ya know, the Internet" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "Sunday…
“Three boxes govern the world” (ballot box, jury box, cartouch box)
"Four boxes govern the world -- the cartridge box, the jury box, the ballot box, and the band box" is a saying that was very popular in the 19th century. (A band box holds articles of…
“Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very difficult?”/“Because X was always 10.”
An algebra riddle has been printed on many images: Q: Why didn't the Romans find algebra very difficult?A: Because X was always 10. "The Romans didn't find algebra very challenging,…
“Do not meddle in the affairs of Unix, for it is subtle and quick to core dump”
"Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger" is from The Fellowship of the Ring (1954) by J. R. R. Tolkien (1892-1973). There have been many jocular…
“Idioms are not my cup of coffee”
The expression "cup of tea" (or "not my cup of tea") means a preference. "Idioms are not my cup of tea" was posted on Twitter by Jenny Wade on March 27, 2012.…
Cab Calloway’s “Hepster’s Dictionary” (1938, 1944)
Cab Calloway (1907-1994) was an American jazz singer and bandleader. He published a "Hepster's Dictionary" in 1938, with another edition in 1944. The dictionary contained much Harlem…
“Why didn’t the dog want to play football?”/“It was a boxer.”
A dog riddle is: Q: Why didn't the dog want to play football?A: It was a boxer. The "boxer" pun has been cited in print since at least 2001. Wikipedia: Boxer (dog)The Boxer is a…
“What’s the fastest way to transfer money?”/“Get married.”
What's the fastest way to transfer money? "Electronic Banking is a fast way to transfer money. Marriage is an even faster way" was posted on Twitter on April 17, 2009. "2nd…
“Where’s the cheese grater?”/“Some say France…”
"Grater" sounds like the word "greater." A joke was posted on Twitter on June 13, 2012: "My wife was preparing lunch today when she asked, 'Where's the cheese…
“How do hens encourage their football teams?”/“They egg them on.”
A hen riddle is: Q: How do hens encourage their football teams?A: They egg them on. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. 20 May 2001, Sunday Telegraph (Surry Hills, New South…
“Idioms are not my cup of tea”
The expression "cup of tea" (or "not my cup of tea") means a preference. "Idioms are not my cup of tea" was posted on Twitter by Jenny Wade on March 27, 2012.…
“Trucks carrying beef and beans collided. It caused chili con carnage”
"Chili con carnage" (chili con carne + carnage) is a jocular portmanteau term. "A lorry carrying spicy beef collided with a lorry carrying rice. It caused chilli con carnage"…
“What kind of ant is good at math?”/“An accountant.”
An ant riddle is: Q: What kind of ant is good at math?A: An accountant. The "account-ant"/"accountant" joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. 6 May 2001, Sunday…
“What is the definition of ‘derange’?”/“De place where de cowboys ride.”
A cowboy riddle is: Q: What is the definition of "derange"?A: De place where de cowboys ride. The "derange"/"the range" pun has been cited in print since at least…
“At the university, I made videos of urine at different resolutions. I even got a pee HD”
A "Ph.D" (doctorate degree) shouldn't be confused with "pee HD" (urine in high definition), but there are jokes. "At the university, I used to make videos of people…
“Kicking sand on the beach is wrong, in some people’s eyes”
"Throwing acid is wrong -- in some people's eyes" is a jocular saying ("in some people's eyes" is an expression usually not meant to be taken literally) that has been…
“I’m on the third cheat year of my diet”
Some diets have "cheat days" (such as a Friday or a birthday) where the dieter is allowed to go off the diet for that day. A joke is that some "dieters" take cheat years.…