“If ‘sat’ is the past tense of the word ‘sit’, then the past tense of ‘fit’ should be ‘fat’”
The past tense of "fit" is not "fat," but there are jokes. Often "sit" and "sat" are compared. "And is 'fat' the past tense of…
Archive for 04/2018
“I can’t see an end, I have no control… Time for a new keyboard”
"I can’t see an end. I have no control and I don’t think there’s any escape - I don’t even have a home anymore. Time for a new keyboard" is a computer keyboard joke that was…
“My boss said he’ll fire the employee with the worst posture. I’ve got a hunch it might be me”
An employment joke was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on September 14, 2010: "My boss said he's going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I've got a hunch it might be…
“Tofu is really kung fu for toes”
"Tofu" (a food) is very different from "kung fu" (a Chinese martial art), but there have been jokes -- especially involving toes. "What is tofu made of? My guess, toes and…
“When the interviewer asked me to describe myself in three words, I replied, ‘Efficient’”
"If I had to describe myself in three words they would be: Efficient" was posted on Twitter on July 6, 2013. "Interviewer: Describe yourself in three words. Interviewee:…
“What do you call a vegan fighting style?”/“Tofu.”
"Tofu" (a food) is very different from "kung fu" (a Chinese martial art), but there have been jokes -- especially involving toes. "What is tofu made of? My guess, toes and…
“A group for cyclists who ignore red lights: ‘Cyclists Unable to Notice Traffic Signals’”
"I'm setting up a help group for bike riders who ignore red lights. Please Feel free to join Cyclists Unable to Notice Traffic Signals #CUNTS" is an anti-cyclist joke that was posted…
Kung Fu Tofu (Kung Pao tofu + kung fu)
"Tofu" (a food) is very different from "kung fu" (a Chinese martial art), but there have been jokes -- especially involving toes. "What is tofu made of? My guess, toes and…
“What do tired line dancers do?”/“They line down.”
A line dancer riddle is: Q: What do tired line dancers do?A: They line down. The line dancer joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. funnyjoke.com.auCategory: Dance jokesDate Added:…
“Tofu is really kung fu for toes”
"Tofu" (a food) is very different from "kung fu" (a Chinese martial art), but there have been jokes -- especially involving toes. "What is tofu made of? My guess, toes and…
“What do you call a vegan fighting style?”/“Tofu.”
"Tofu" (a food) is very different from "kung fu" (a Chinese martial art), but there have been jokes -- especially involving toes. "What is tofu made of? My guess, toes and…
“What kind of ants are very learned?”/“Pedants.”
An ant riddle is: Q: What kind of ants are very learned?A: Pedants. The "pedant" pun has been cited in print since at least 1999. Google BooksThe Silly Little Book of Animal JokesBy…
“Diner: Do you have a bathroom? Waiter: No, we go outside.”
A house guest (or someone in a restaurant or a store) might ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" This really means, "Where is the bathroom and I can use it now?" However, a literal,…
“I think I’ve been eating too much salmon recently. I keep running up down escalators”
If you eat too much salmon, you don't necessarily turn into a salmon and start spawning. This joke was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia Official on December 28, 2013: "I think I've…
“I saw trombone players at the park today. Couldn’t swing and kept complaining about the slide”
A trombone riddle was posted on Twitter on April 7, 2012: Q: Why is it no fun to go the park with a trombone player? A: They can’t swing and complain about the slide. Forms of the…
“I saw trombone players at the park today. Couldn’t swing and kept complaining about the slide”
A trombone riddle was posted on Twitter on April 7, 2012: Q: Why is it no fun to go the park with a trombone player? A: They can’t swing and complain about the slide. Forms of the…
“Do you have a bathroom?”/“No, we shit outside in the yard.”
A house guest (or someone in a restaurant or a store) might ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" This really means, "Where is the bathroom and I can use it now?" However, a literal,…
“Doing squats so my ass matches my sass”
"Doing squats so my ass matches my sass" (or "I squat so my ass matches my sass") is a motivational gym saying that has been printed on many images. "Squats. So my ass…
“I run on caffeine, grease, loud music and cuss words”
"I run on coffee, chaos and cuss words" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. There have been many "I run on..." variations. "I run on #coffee and cuss…
“I run on diesel, caffeine and cuss words”
"I run on coffee, chaos and cuss words" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. There have been many "I run on..." variations. "I run on #coffee and cuss…