“What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?”/“Bullogna.”
A cow riddle is: Q: What is a cow's favorite lunch meat?A: Bullogna. The "bullogna" (bull + bologna) joke has been cited in print since at least 2009. Wikipedia: Bologna…
Archive for 03/2018
“Traffic is like real life buffering”
Waiting for traffic to clear has been compared to waiting for a computer to run. "Traffic is like the buffering of real life" was posted on Twitter on March 2, 2012. "Traffic is like…
“I lent my grandfather clock to my friend and now he owes me big time”
"Big time" usually means "a lot," but a pun has been cited in print since at least 2015: "I let my friend borrow my grandfather clock. He owes me big time." Wikipedia:…
“I heard 8/10 Americans are bad at math. Glad to know I’m in the other 2%”
Americans are bad at math, but good at jokes. "60% of Americans are bad at math, but I'm in the other 90%" was posted on Twitter by Megan Amram on September 14, 2010. "I heard…
Kilties (American League baseball team, later called Yankees)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: New York YankeesThe New York Yankees are an American professional baseball team based in the New York City borough of the Bronx. The Yankees compete in Major…
“Shopping for antiques won’t make you gay, but it will make you buy curios”
"Buy curios" sounds like "bi-curious." " I've just spent £350 on various items in an antique shop- does that make me buy curios?" was posted on Twitter on…
“Pizza rolls are just mini calzones”
Many people have observed that pizza rolls are just smaller versions of calzones. "Pizza rolls are mini calzones" was posted on Twitter on December 24, 2011. "Pizza rolls are just…
“I run on caffeine, grease, loud music and cuss words”
"I run on coffee, chaos and cuss words" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. There have been many "I run on..." variations. "I run on #coffee and cuss…
“Be kind to unkind people. They need it the most”
"Be kind to unkind people. They need it the most" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Be kind to unkind people. They probably need it the most" was printed in the…
Hillmen (American League baseball team, later called Yankees)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: New York YankeesThe New York Yankees are an American professional baseball team based in the New York City borough of the Bronx. The Yankees compete in Major…
“There are some things you can only learn in a storm”
"There are some things you can only learn in a storm" -- that is, learn through difficulties -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Some stuff you can't learn on…
“What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?”/“Necktarines.”
A giraffe riddle is: Q: What is a giraffe's favorite fruit?A: Necktarines. The "nectarine"/"necktarine" pun has been cited in print since at least 2004. Wikipedia: PeachThe…
“Where do cowboys cook their meals?”/“On the range.”
A cowboy riddle is: Q: Where do cowboys cook their meals?A: On the range. The "on the range" joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.support.depression.recovery on February 24, 1998. Google…
“My son identifies as a crescent moon. I’m worried, but my wife says it’s just a phase”
A moon joke was posted on Twitter on September 15, 2016: "I sexually identify as a moon. My mom thinks it's just a phase." A slightly different version was posted on Reddit -- Jokes…
“I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar.”/“Is that a fret?”
A guitar joke has been printed on several images: "This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar.’ I said: ‘Is that a fret?’" "Fret" sounds…
“Curry OK?”/“Sorry, I hate singing in public.” (karaoke joke)
"Karaoke" sounds a bit like "curry OK." A joke has someone enter an Indian restaurant and the waiter asks, "Curry OK?" The diner responds, "Sorry, I hate singing…
“Every day is ‘Take Your Child to Work Day’ when you are pregnant”
Many women work until a late stage of pregnancy. "When you're pregnant, every day is like Take Your Child to Work Day! Have any of you done that?" was posted on Twitter on July 9,…
“What did the sandwich say to the doorman?”/“Please lettuce in.”
A sandwich riddle was posted on Reddit -- Badjokes on September 12, 2017: Q: What did the sandwich say to the doorman?A: "Please lettuce in." "Lettuce" sounds like "let…
“I ordered tennis balls on the internet, but the site crashed. Must be problems with the server”
Websites often have a problem with a "server," providing the basis of tennis puns. "Just tried to get on the British Tennis Association's website but they're having…
“How do trees feel in the spring?”/“Releaved.”
A tree riddle has been printed on several images: Q: How do trees feel in the spring?A: Releaved. "Releaved" (for "relieved") is a pun on the word "leaves." A tree…