“What does a blind man use to ski?”/“A skiing eye dog.”
"If blind people have seeing eye dogs, do blind skiers have skiing eye dogs?" is a question that was posted on Twitter on July 18, 2014. ""In blind school they didn't say…
Archive for 01/2018
“What’s Darth Vader’s favorite Canadian dish?”/“Palpoutine.”
The Star Wars film character of Emperor Palpatine has nothing to do with the Canadian dish of poutine, but there have been several puns. "The Canadian Emperor's name is Pal Poutine"…
“What if tinfoil producers create conspiracies so people buy their tinfoil?”
"Tin foil hat" has become a stereotype for a conspiracy theorist. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on January 4, 2018: "What if tinfoil producers create conspiracies so…
“My wife and I watched three movies back to back. Luckily, I was the one facing the TV”
"My wife and I watched three movies back to back. Luckily, I was the one facing the TV" is a joke that has been printed on many images. English comedian Milton Jones has told the joke…
“Waiter: May I take your plates? Diner: Sure, they were yours to begin with!”
When a waiter or a waitress asks "May I take your plate?" after a meal is finished, that doesn't imply possession, but a joke was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on January 1, 2018:…
“I just passed my drug test. My dealer has some serious explaining to do”
"I just passed my drug test. My dealer has some serious explaining to do" is a jocular line -- the joke is that the "drugs" the dealer sold weren't legit -- that has been…
“What kind of water do cats like to drink?”/“Purr-ified water.”
A cat riddle is: Q: What kind of water do cats like to drink?A: Purr-ified water. "What's a cat's favorite water? Pur-ified" was posted on Twitter on June 6, 2013. "What…
“Don’t worry about the snow storm. Everything’s going to be all white”
Some people panic at the forecast of a major snowstorm. "Don't worry about the snow storm, everything's going to be all white" -- a pun on "all right" -- was posted on…
“What kind of wine do horses drink?”/“Caberneigh.”
A wine riddle was posted on Twitter on October 18, 2011: Q: What's a horse's favorite wine?A: Caber-neigh! "Caberneigh" (Cabernet + neigh) is usually used in the joke, but…
“Take a drug test? I know all about drugs!”
A drug test doesn't test one's knowledge about drugs. A joke is: EMPLOYER: You will have to take a drug test to work here.EMPLOYEE: Great! I know all about drugs! "I had a job…
“When does a joke become a dad joke?”/“When it leaves you and never comes back.”
A dad joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 26, 2016: Q: When does a joke become a dad joke?A: When it leaves you and never comes back. The classic dad joke has been printed on many images.…
“When does a joke become a dad joke?”/“When it’s fully groan.”
A dad joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 26, 2016: Q: When does a joke become a dad joke?A: When its fully groan (grown). The classic dad joke has been printed on many images and has been…
“My sex life is like a video game. Single Player”
How do video gamers describe their sex lives? "Sex is like video game, wait, hear me out. Having sex is multi player and masturbating is single player..." was posted on Twitter on April…
“It’s not drinking alone if you’re pregnant”
Drinking alcohol while pregnant is bad, but it's the subject of a jocular one-liner. "It's not drinking alone if you're pregnant" was posted on Twitter by Al Coholic on…
“What’s the difference between a philosopher and an engineer?”/“About $50,000 a year.”
A joke about the earnings potential of philosophers is: Q: What’s the difference between a philosopher and an engineer?A: About $50,000 a year. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.philosophy…
“Make your exercise resolution on the Chinese new year to avoid crowded gyms”
Many people make a new year's resolution to go to the gym and lose weight. "I make my new years resolution on Chinese new year so the gym is less crowded" was posted on Twitter on…
“What did the cat say when he lost all his money?”/“I’m paw!”
A cat riddle is: Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money?A: I'm paw! The "paw"/"poor" joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.games.tiberian-sun on October 23,…
“What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?”/“Every morning you’ll rise and shine!”
A popular breakfast riddle is: Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?A: Every morning you’ll rise and shine! "The newest is a mixture of yeast and shoe polish for people who want…
“The real joke is always in the comments”
Reddit -- Jokes is a social website that contains many, many recycled jokes. After a recycled joke is posted, someone in the comments often adds a new twist. Another person then comments, "The…
“‘Wow, the Lean Cuisine really filled me up!’ said no one ever”
"'Wow, the Lean Cuisine really filled me up!' said no one ever" is a jocular line that has been printed on several images. "Damn that lean cuisine filled me up!…