“It was so cold that I saw chickens lined up for KFC’s deep fryer”
"It was so cold that I saw chickens lined up for KFC's deep fryer" is a joke about extremely cold weather that has been printed on many images. "It was so cold in New York City…
Archive for 01/2018
“Why do all hot dogs look the same?”/“Because they are in bread.”
"Inbred" sounds like "in bread." "Greg: Why do these hamburgers and hot dogs look so weird? Me: Because they're inbred (bread)" was posted on Twitter on August 2,…
“It was so cold we had to chop up the piano for firewood, but we only got two chords”
Musical "chords" shouldn't be confused with "cords" of firewood, but there have been puns. "It was so cold...we had to chop up the piano for firewood -- but we only…
“It was so cold that I enjoyed it when someone spilled hot coffee on my lap”
The Liebeck v. McDonald's Restaurants (1994) "hot coffee lawsuit" resulted from McDonald's restaurants serving very hot coffee, but what if it's very cold outside?…
“My Geography teacher died yesterday. Well, he is History now”
There's a difference between being a History teacher and being history. "That English teacher they sent up (into space and died -- ed.)? She is history now" was posted on Twitter on…
“It was so cold that we didn’t clean the house—we just defrosted it”
"It was so cold that we didn't clean the house -- we just defrosted it" is a joke about extremely cold weather. The joke was posted on the
“It was so cold that the cops were tasering themselves”
"It was so cold that the cops were tasering themselves" is a joke that is sometimes said about extremely cold weather. "It was so cold...the cops were tasering themselves" was…
“How do you insult a hamburger patty?”/“Call it a meatball!”
A hamburger riddle is: Q: How do you insult a hamburger patty? A: Call it a meatball. The joke was printed in the book One Hundred and One Hamburger Jokes (1978) by Phil Hirsch. Google BooksOne…
“It was so cold that when we milked the cows, we got ice cream”
Milk doesn't turn into ice cream when it's cold, but that's an old joke. "It was so cold that when I milked old Betsy I got ice cream," a 1959 newspaper printed. Chocolate…
“It was so cold that I was drinking hot sauce instead of coffee”
Many people drink hot coffee in winter, but suppose that's not hot enough? "I think it is easier to be a bicycle messenger in Buffalo or Boston in wintertime and in addition drink a…
“It was so cold that I saw a chicken with a cape on”
"Capon" sounds like "cape on." "It's so cold out there today, I saw a chicken with a cape on" is a joke that was printed in a 1976 newspaper. "It was so cold…
“It was so cold that I chipped a tooth on my soup”
Could it be so cold that people eat frozen food? "Top Ten Signs It's Too Damn Cold (...) 3. President Clinton chipped a tooth on a french fry" was broadcast on the New York…
“It was so cold that grandpa’s teeth chattered—and they were still in the glass”
"It was so cold that false teeth chattered -- and they were still in the glass" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. "It was so cold last week that…
“It was so cold that the Times Square hookers charged $20 just to blow on your hands”
The New York City-based television program Late Show with David Letterman contained the segment "Top 10 Signs It's Too Damn Cold" on January 19, 1994, and this was Number 6:…
“It was so cold outside that I farted snowflakes”
"It was so cold outside that I farted snowflakes" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "It was so cold that winter so I farted snowflakes until the…
“It was so cold that hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs”
"It was so cold that hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on an image. "It was so cold...hitchhikers were holding up…
“If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t”
"If cats could text you back, they wouldn't" is a jocular line that has been printed on several images. The joke is that cats are self-centered and lazy. "If cats could text you…
“My uncle was a great conductor. He was struck by lightning”
A musical conductor is not the same as a conductor of electricity, but there have been jokes. "My uncle was a great conductor. He was struck by lightning six times" is a joke that has…
“I’m a second-hand vegetarian. Cows eat grass. I eat cows”
"I'm a second-hand vegetarian. Cows eat grass. I eat cows" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I only eat animals that feed on grass. Does that make me a…
“You can only say ‘WTF’ so many times a day until you decide to start drinking”
"You can only say 'WTF' ('What the fuck?" -- ed.) so many times a day until you decide to start drinking" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several…