“What do you call a pig with no clothes on?”/“Streaky bacon.”
"Streaky bacon" has nothing to do with streaking, but there's a riddle: Q: What do you call a pig with no clothes on?A: Streaky bacon. The joke has been cited in print since at least…
Archive for 09/2017
“Scrabble is all fun and games until someone loses an ‘I’”
"Scrabble: It’s all fun and games until someone loses an ‘I’" -- a pun on "loses an eye" -- is a jocular saying about the Scrabble word game that has been printed on many…
“Friday must be a woman. It takes forever to come”
“Monday must be a man. It comes too quickly” is a jocular work saying. "Friday must be a woman. It takes forever to come" is a related saying that has been printed on several images.…
“Science built skyscrapers and airplanes, but only religion can bring the two together”
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not politically correct. One popular saying is: "Science built…
“How did rich people get their money?”/“They were calm and collected.”
A riddle about money is: Q: How did rich people get their money?A: They were calm and collected. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Google BooksBiggest Riddle Book in the WorldBy…
“When a man opens the car door for his wife, either the car is new or the wife is”
"When a man opens the car door for his wife, either the car is new or the wife is" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in print since at…
“Science built skyscrapers and airplanes, but only faith can bring the two together”
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not politically correct. One popular saying is: "Science built…
“Why did the cannibal live on his own?”/“He was fed up with other people.”
“What is a cannibal?"/"Someone who is fed up with people" is a classic joke from the 1940s. A variation of the riddle is: Q: Why did the cannibal live on his own?A: He was fed up…
“I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open looking for the answer”
"I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open looking for the answer" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Andy…
Mutually Assured Blackmail (MAB)
"Mutual(ly) assured blackmail" (MAB) is a term similar to "mutual(ly) assured destruction" (MAD). Everyone in the government spies on everyone else and learns secrets, so…
“If you buy smartwater for $4 a bottle, it’s not working”
Many people believe that smartwater is a waste of money, and is not much better than tap water. "If you're buy 'Smart Water' for $4 a bottle, I'm sorry to tell you, but…
“What food can’t make up its mind?”/“A waffle.”
A waffle riddle has been printed on several images: Q: What food can't make up its mind?A: A waffle. The "waffle" riddle was on the American animated sitcom Family Guy, on the…
“It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it, then feel really sad around 8 p.m.”
"It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it, then feel really sad around 8 p.m." is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on April 19,…
“I accidentally sent my friend flowers over the internet. Whoops, E-Daisies”
A joke on the word "whoopsy-daisy" is: "I accidentally sent my friend flowers over the internet. Whoops, E-Daisies." The one-liner was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 9,…
“Dunno what this WiFi dude did, but I’ve seen a ton of bars and restaurants demanding his freedom”
Many restaurants have signs that say "Free Wi-Fi," but that doesn't mean that someone named "Wi-Fi" is in jail. A jocular comment was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September…
“Yo mama is so fat, she went out in high heels and came back in flip flops”
A popular "yo mama" insult "fat joke" is: "Yo mama is so fat, she went out in high heels and came back in flip flops." The joke has been cited in print since at least…
“An acid and a base walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A chemistry version is: "An acid and a base walk into a bar. The police later arrested…
“Free Wi-Fi! He’s been in prison too long!”
Many restaurants have signs that say "Free Wi-Fi," but that doesn't mean that someone named "Wi-Fi" is in jail. A jocular comment was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September…
“I love my computer because my friends live in it”
"I love my computer because my friends live in it" is a computer saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on February 17, 2008. TwitterJohn Krutsch…
“Why do blondes hate M&Ms?”/“They’re too hard to peel.”
A riddle about M&Ms is: Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?A: They're too hard to peel. The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on May 7, 1992. Wikipedia: M&M'sM&M's…