“Why are women and children evacuated first?” (joke)
A one-line saying about evacuating women and children first (during a disaster, such as a sinking ship) has been printed on several images: "During a disaster we evacuate women and children…
Archive for 03/2017
“Build a man a fire and he’ll be warm for a night…” (joke)
A popular proverb is: "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.” A joke variation is: "Build a man a fire and he'll be warm…
“I’ve had so much coffee today I can see noises”
"I've had so much coffee today I can see noises" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Had so much coffee already today I think I can see…
“The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee”
"The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. Braden Graeber posted the coffee saying on Twitter…
“My birthstone is a coffee bean”
"My birthstone is a coffee bean" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on February 19, 2014. “My birthstone is a block of…
“Coffee helps me maintain my ‘never killed anyone streak’”
"Coffee helps me maintain my 'never killed anyone streak'" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Some people make it really difficult to maintain my…
“If it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever”
"If it wasn't/weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever" is a saying that has been printed on many images. David Letterman, host of…
“Why did the stoner put laxatives in weed brownies?”/“For shits and giggles.”
A pot brownie riddle is: Q: Why did the stoner put laxatives in the pot/weed brownies?A: For shits and giggles. "I think halal vendors put laxatives in the food for shits and giggles" was…
“Mondays are the potholes in the road of life”
"Mondays are the potholes in the road of life" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying originated in the newspaper comic strip "Ziggy" by Tom…
“Chocolate is nature’s way of making up for Mondays”
"Chocolate/Candy is nature's way of making up for Mondays" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. "Chocolate is nature's way of making up for…
“All you need is love and a good cup of coffee”
"All You Need Is Love," the Beatles sang in 1967. "All you need is love and a good cup of coffee" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "All you need is love.…
“Caffeine isn’t a drug, it’s a vitamin”
"Caffeine/Coffee isn't a drug, it's a vitamin" ia a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Caffiene isn't a drug; it's a vitamin!"…
“Coffee with a friend is like capturing happiness in a cup”
"Coffee with a friend is like capturing happiness in a cup" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on July 5, 2013. “A cup of coffee shared…
“What did the whip cream say to Indiana Jones?”/“Cool Whip.”
A whip cream riddle is: Q: What did the whip cream say to Indiana Jones?A: "Cool Whip." The joke was posted on Twitter on January 29, 2015, and was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 22,…
“Someone’s just thrown a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me. I only received super fish oil injuries”
"Super fish oil" sounds like "superficial." A joke was posted on Twitter on July 31, 2011: "Someone's just thrown a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me. I only received…
“I used to pee my pants when i stood in front of my 3rd grade class. It cost me my teaching career”
A school joke is: "I used to pee my pants every time I stood in front of my 3rd grade class. It cost me my teaching career." The joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 23, 2016.…
“I found a wallet today and as a good Christian I thought, ‘What would Jesus do?’” (joke)
A drinking joke has been printed on several images: "I found a wallet today and as a good Christian I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So i turned it into wine." "Today I…
“I found a wallet today and as a good Christian I thought, ‘What would Jesus do?’” (joke)
A drinking joke has been printed on several images: "I found a wallet today and as a good Christian I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So i turned it into wine." "Today I…
“I’m always losing things at work…my glasses, my keys, my will to live…”
"I'm always losing things at work...my glasses, my keys, my will to live..." is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "I hate losing things at work,…
“This home runs on love, laughter and lots of strong coffee”
"Our/This family/home/house/classroom/office/place runs on love, laughter and lots of strong coffee" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "This home runs on love,…