“I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot and on my lap”
"I like my women like I like my coffee" is a meme that has been used on many images. "A Negro comedian pulled this one: 'I like my coffee strong and black -- the same way I like…
Archive for 01/2017
“I can’t be your valentine for medical reasons. You make me sick!”
A Valentine's Day joke is: GIRL: I can't be your valentine for medical reasons.BOY: Really?GIRL: Yeah, you make me sick! The joke has been cited in print since at least 1999. 14 February…
“What’s the difference between you and a calendar?”/“A calendar has a date on Valentine’s Day.”
A Valentine's Day riddle is: Q: What's the difference between you and a calendar?A: A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day. "What's the difference between you and a…
“What’s the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak? February 14th”
Do restaurants overcharge for Valentine's Day? "Dan" posted on Twitter on February 13, 2015: "What's the difference between a $15 steak & a $50 steak? February 13 &…
“Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a celebration?”/“Because you can really party hearty!”
A heart-based Valentine's Day riddle is: Q: Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration?A: Because you can really party hearty! The riddle was posted to the newsgroup…
“What did the chocolate sauce say to the ice cream?”/“I’m sweet on you!”
An ice cream riddle -- popular on Valentine's Day -- is: Q: What did the chocolate sauce/syrup say to the ice cream?A: "I'm sweet on you!" The riddle has been cited in print…
“Why didn’t Cupid shoot at the lawyer’s heart?”/“Because Cupid can’t hit a target that small.”
A popular Valentine's Day lawyer joke is: Q: Why didn't Cupid shoot his arrow at the lawyer's heart?A: Because even Cupid can't hit a target that small. The riddle has been…
“Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is”
A Valentine's Day saying has been printed on several images: "Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.: The saying was posted to…
“I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day”
A jocular saying about Valentine's Day has been printed on many images: "I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the…
“Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married” (joke)
A popular Valentine's Day joke is: "Two antennas/antennae/aerials met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent." The…
“I’m giving up alcohol for a month” (joke)
"I'm giving up alcohol for a month" is a joke that has been printed on man yGIFs. "Sebas" wrote on Twitter on January 5, 2016: "I'm giving up alcohol for a month.…
“Alcohol is never the answer, unless the question is ‘What is C2H5OH?’”
Ethanol (drinking alcohol) can be represented as C2H5OH. A joke is: "Alcohol is never the answer, unless the question is 'What is C2H5OH?'" The jocular one-line saying was…
“There’s a reason why ‘sober’ and ‘so bored’ sound almost exactly the same”
"There's a reason why 'sober' and 'so bored' sound almost exactly the same" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several ecards. "Day 2 of…
“Eat all the junk food you want, as long as you cook it yourself”
Food author Michael Pollan wrote in Food Rules: An Eater's Manual (2009): "Eat all the junk food you want, as long as you cook it yourself." Pollan came up with the rule by at least…
“I know alcohol isn’t the answer, but it’s my best guess”
"I know alcohol isn't the answer, but it's always my best guess" is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on many ecards. "I know alcohol is never the answer, but…
“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?” (Valentine’s Day joke)
"Love is blind" is an old proverb. "If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?" is a popular Valentine's Day joke that has been printed on many images. The jocular…
“The first thing you lose on a diet is your sense of humor”
"The first thing you lose on a diet is your sense of humor." is a dieting saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in print since at least 1979 (when it was…
“A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in the students”
American poet John Ciardi (1916-1986) wrote in the Saturday Review on May 21, 1966: "A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students." Ciardi's…
“When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?”
“Say ‘Cheese!‘“ is what photographers often say to get people to smile. A popular joke is: "When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?" The jocular one-liner was posted…
“A truly special teacher is very wise, and sees tomorrow in every child’s eyes”
"A truly special teacher is very wise, and sees tomorrow in every child's eyes" is a popular quotation that has been printed on many images. The quotation has been cited in print…