“An apple a day keeps the doctor away” is an old saying. A joke involving the Granny Smith apple is: "Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, or is it just one of…
A joke about ordering steak was posted on Twitter by Crap Jokes on April 1, 2015: "I occasionally enjoy having my steak undercooked...but that’s rare." The one-line saying has been…
"Is the glass half empty or half full?" is a classic question, and a jocular message has been printed on many images: Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist,While you were arguing about…
"Whatever you do in life, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood" is a jocular aphorism that has been printed on many images. The saying was first posted on Twitter on…
A problem was popularized in the 1950s, especially around Christmas -- what do you give the person who has everything? There's a joke: Q: What do you give to a man who has everything?A:…
A riddle about a person in debt is: Q: What do you call a guy in debt?A: Owen. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2006, when it was included in a joke book. “What do you call a…
"Rocket salad" doesn't contain rocketships, but there's a joke: "I bought some rocket salad yesterday, but it went off before I could eat it." The joke was posted on…
The term "Venetian blind" (a type of window blind) is used in a classic riddle: Q: How do you make a Venetian blind?A: Poke him in the eye. The joke has been cited in print since at least…
A popular psychiatry joke has a psychiatrist tell a man, "You're crazy." "I want a second opinion," the man responds. "OK," says the doctor, "you're…
Many baseball players have stuff in their mouths, such as gum or chewing tobacco. "Baseball is the only game you can play with food in your mouth smh" was posted on Twitter on May 15,…
A top British pun (confusing "condiment" with "compliment") has been cited in print since at least 2001: "He said: 'You remind me of a pepper pot' I said:…
A clumsy dancer is said to have "two left feet." A popular animal riddle (usually about dogs) is: Q: Why can't dogs (four-legged animals) dance?A: Because they have two left feet.…
The organ has been the subject of many sex jokes. One popular pun is: Q: What's worse than spiders on your piano?A: Crabs on your organ. "Q: Whats worse than lobsters on your piano? A:…
"I went to a zoo the other day and it had only one animal -- a dog. It was a Shih Tzu (shit zoo)" is a popular joke that has been printed on many images. The joke has been cited in print…
Vegemite (an Australian food spread made from leftover brewers' yeast extract) has had several "veggie might" puns. This was posted to Reddit -- Jokes on January 9, 2017: "A…
Many baseball players have stuff in their mouths, such as gum or chewing tobacco. "Baseball is the only game you can play with food in your mouth smh" was posted on Twitter on May 15,…
A popular Hawaiian pizza pun is: "I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night... I should've put it on aloha setting." That is, "a lower" oven temperature setting. "I just…
A frequent subway announcement is that the train is "being held momentarily by the train dispatcher. Oliver Burkeman posted a joke on Twitter on April 24, 2014: "I wonder if, when they…
A British English apartment joke was posted on Twitter on August 19, 2012: "I used to live in a tyre but then I got a puncture, now I live in a flat." "I used to live in a tyre, but…
The British dish of "toad in the hole" has had some "toed in the hole" sex jokes. This was posted on Twitter on January 21, 2013: "Took the wife out for dinner but all she…