“I’m allergic to alcohol. Every time I drink I break out in handcuffs”
"I'm allergic to alcohol. Every time I drink I break out in handcuffs" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I have an allergy to alcohol; when I drink I…
Archive for 11/2016
“Success depends on the second letter”
"Success (all) depends on the second letter" is a motivational adage that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in print since at least 1992 and is of unknown…
“I dream of being a millionaire like my uncle. He’s dreaming, too”
"I always dream about being a millionaire like my uncle. He's dreaming, too" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I always dream of being a millionaire,…
“Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn’t contain any calories”
"Diet Rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories" is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on many images. "Diet rule #1 - If you eat something…
“Never make eye contact while eating a banana”
"Never make eye contact while eating a banana" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Eating a banana often represents the sex act of fellatio. "I find it awkward…
“Why did the banana go out with the prune?”/“Because he couldn’t find a date.”
A riddle about prunes and dates is: Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?A: Because he couldn't find a date. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1995. Other foods besides…
“Alcohol is the liquid version of Photoshop”
"Alcohol is the liquid version of Photoshop" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted by Adam Hunter on Twitter on September 10, 2011. "LSD is…
“Never look at a beer as half empty. Look at it as half way to the next beer”
"Is the glass half empty or half full?" is a classic question. A beer version has been printed on several images: "Never look at a beer as half empty. Look at it as half way to the…
“I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus” (joke)
A joke about giving up a seat on the bus was posted to Reddit on October 8, 2016: "I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus. That's how I lost my job as a bus driver." The joke…
“1984 is a great book. All kids should be forced to read it”
Many schools require students to read George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949) -- an anti-authoritarian novel. The American television series Community aired the episode "Digital…
“Success is like being pregnant” (joke)
"Success is like being pregnant. Everyone congratulates you, but nobody knows how many times you were fucked" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Success is like…
“I was feeling lonely so I bought some shares. It’s nice to have a bit of company”
A finance joke was posted on Reddit on November 23, 2016 (just before Thanksgiving): "I was very lonely so I bought some shares. It's nice to have a bit of company." The joke was…
Iggy (iguana sculpture at the Fort Worth Zoo)
New York's Lone Star Cafe at 61 Fifth Avenue (corner of 13th Street) featured country music acts from 1976 to 1989. A 40-foot polyurethane-and-steel iguana sculpture named "Iggy" was…
Palace Beach (Broadway and West 47th Street, outside Palace Theatre)
New York's Palace Theatre at 1564 Broadway (at West 47th Street) was the biggest vaudeville venue. Performers (often waiting for auditions and calls) could be found on the sidewalk in front of…
Hope Island (Broadway and West 47th Street, outside Palace Theatre)
New York's Palace Theatre at 1564 Broadway (at West 47th Street) was the biggest vaudeville venue. Performers (often waiting for auditions and calls) could be found on the sidewalk in front of…
Panic Beach or Panic Island (Broadway and West 47th Street, outside Palace Theatre)
The Palace Theatre (Broadway between 46th and 47th Streets) opened in 1913 and hosted vaudeville acts until 1932, when it became a movie palace. The Palace Theatre now is home to Broadway shows. To…
Political Row (East 7th Street, between Avenues C and D)
Entry in progress -- B.P. 31 March 1892, The World (New York, NY), pg. 6, col. 1:QUOTA OF POLITICAL ROW.An East-Side Street Prolific of Office Holders.It must be a very undesirable office when…
“To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m making my house into an Italian restaurant”
Do Italian restaurants have too many lights? Patrick McLellan posted a Christmas joke on Twitter on January 7, 2013: "To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm making my house into an…
“Too much ain’t enough” (Lone Star Cafe slogan)
The Lone Star Cafe in New York City was located on 61 Fifth Avenue (at 13th Street), and it existed between 1976 and 1989. The Lone Star featured performers such as Kinky Friedman and Willie…
“To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m making my house into an Italian restaurant”
Do Italian restaurants have too many lights? Patrick McLellan posted a Christmas joke on Twitter on January 7, 2013: "To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm making my house into an…