“Why do only flat animals try to cross the road?”
"Why do only flat animals try to cross the road?" is a jocular question that Harold Ambrose Nuss asked on Twitter on January 24, 2013. "I can't be the only person who's…
Archive for 05/2016
“Synonym rolls…just like grammar used to make”
"Cinnamon rolls" have been jokingly referred to as "synonym rolls" since at least the 1990s. "Made some synonym rolls" was a popular tweet on July 9, 2014.…
Lego Cookery
Felipe Fernández-Armesto, a British historian, wrote in Near a Thousand Tables: A History of Food (2002): "Fusion food is Lego cookery. Only the revolution in availability makes it possible…
“What sort of vegetable can your father make with scissors?”/“Pa snips.”
There aren't many jokes about parsnips, but there is a pun: Q: What sort of vegetable can your father make with scissors?A: Pa snips. The joke has been cited in print since 2008. Pun of the…
Barns and No Bull (Barnes & Noble nickname)
Barnes & Noble booksellers began in New York City in 1886 and grew to become the largest retail bookseller in the United States. Barnes & Noble has been called "Barn(e)s and No…
“How do you make a Swiss roll?”/“Push him down a hill.”
A popular joke about the Swiss roll is: Q: How do you make a Swiss roll?A: Push him down a hill. "How do you make a Swiss roll? Push him down an Alp" was cited in print in 1968. “How do…
“What’s a comedian’s least favorite drink?”/“Booze.”
A "booze" ("boos") pun is: Q: What's a comedian's least favorite drink?A: Booze. The joke was cited on Twitter on May 20, 2015, but became popular after it was posted…
“What kind of bagel can fly?”/“A plain bagel.”
There's a popular bagel pun: Q: What kind of bagel can fly?A: A plain (plane) bagel. Peter Flom tweeted the joke on September 25, 2010, explaining tha it was "a joke my kid made up when…
“My school’s development office will find me” (alumni joke)
Many alumni joke that their school's development office always seem to find them to ask for money. The joke was told about Bates College in 2004 and about Harvard University in 2007 and 2011.…
“Dance is a series of three-minute romances” (“three-minute love affair”)
Dance (especially the tango) has been called "a three-minute love affair (with a stranger)" and "a three-minute romance." It's not known who originated the descriptions.…
“The sideline is a defender’s best friend”
"The sideline is a defender's (best) friend" is a football saying. "The baseline is a defender's (best) friend" is a saying in basketball and tennis. If a football…
“Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people”
The movie Forrest Gump (1994) contains the classic line: "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." A slight, jocular variation has been printed on…
Waitsplaining (waiter/waitress + explaining)
"Waitsplaining" (waiter/waitress + explaining) is when the waiter or waitress explains the menu to a diner. New York (NY) Times restaurant critic Pete Wells wrote on May 24, 2016:…
“Start every day with a smile and get it over with”
"Start every day with a smile" became a common saying by the 1930s. "Start every day with a smile and get it over with" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on…
“Three great inventions: fire, the wheel and central banking”
American humorist Will Rogers (1879-1935) is often credited with the jocular saying: "There have been three great inventions since the beginning of time: fire, the wheel, and central…
Panic City
The term "panic city" refers to the demand for some immediate action to end a bad situation. "Panic city" has been cited in print since the 1970s. New York Mets general manager…
“Who says a good newspaper has to be dull?” (NY Herald Tribune slogan)
"Who says a good newspaper has to be dull?" was the famous 1960s ad campaign for the New York (NY) Herald Tribune that attempted to take readership from the rival New York (NY) Times.…
“No one has stolen my lunch at work since I started labeling it ‘Stool Sample’”
One way to stop a co-worker from taking your lunch out of the refrigerator is to label the bag "stool sample," as one joke has it. "Someone stole @whaleysh's lunch. Sorry bud.…
“Lettuce turnip the beet”
"Lettuce turnip the beet" (let us turn up the beat) is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "I’m a musical vegetarian. I always ask my girl to lettuce, turnip, the…
“Eat the rainbow” (“Taste the rainbow”)
Skittles (fruit-flavored sweets) advertised "Taste the Rainbow" in U.S. newspapers in 1988. The saying is trademarked. "Eat the rainbow" is a culinary expression that has been…