“I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them”
"I'm not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them" is a jocular line that has been printed on T-shirts and ecards. "I'm not sure how many problems I have…
Archive for 05/2015
“There’s not enough coffee in the world”
The expression "there's not enough coffee in the world" does not refer to the world's inventory of coffee. "There's not enough coffee in the world" means that no…
“Lasagna is just spaghetti-flavored cake”
"Lasagna is just spaghetti-flavored cake" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake" was cited on Twitter on May 14,…
“How did the butcher introduce his wife?”/“Meat Patty!”
A popular joke about a butcher goes: Q: How did the butcher introduce his wife?A: Meat/Meet Patty! The "meat patty" joke has been cited in print since at least 1999. 12 September 1999,…
“The school board wishes you a speedy recovery, by a vote of 4-3”
Country school boards (or athletic boards) can be divisive over even simple things. A popular joke is told of an athletic board (or a school board) sending a losing football coach (or an assistant…
“Do people who run know that we’re not food anymore?”
"Do people who run know that we're not food anymore?" is a jocular line, referring to a time long ago when people ran from animals for survival. "Do people who run know that…
“Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow”
Peppermint mouthwash might taste great in the mouth, but you're not supposed to drink it. Peppermint schnapps has been compared to mouthwash since at least 1999. "Peppermint Schnapps, the…
“Wine with crackers and cheese is basically just the classy version of beer and nachos”
"Wine with crackers and cheese is basically just the classy version of beer and nachos" was cited on reddit's "Shower Thoughts" on January 2, 2015. The saying was repeated…
“Don’t reach for the stars. They are extremely hot and will incinerate you”
People in the performing arts are often told to reach for the stars. The expression "reach for the stars" does not, of course, mean reaching for actual stars. "Don't reach for…
“I love you a latte”
"I love you a latte" is a cute saying that has been printed on many gift items. "I love you a latte" is a valentine that was posted to alt.fan.tom-robbins in February 1997.…
“I got my stomach doing crunches—usually either Nestlé or Captain”
"I got my stomach doing crunches -- usually either Nestlé or Captain" (that is, Nestlé Crunch chocolate bars and Cap'n Crunch cereal) is a jocular statement that has been printed…
“Improvement begins with ‘I’”
"Improvement beings with 'I'" is a popular inspirational and motivational saying. The saying has been cited in print since at least 1920 and is of unknown authorship. The…
“To me, ‘drink responsibly’ means don’t spill it”
"To me, 'drink responsibly' means don't spill it" is a jocular line that has been printed on T-shirts and ecards. "Drink responsibly means don't spill any I…
“New York is the most successful sequel ever”
"New York is the most successful sequel ever" was cited on reddit's "Shower Thoughts" on December 14. 2014. York, a city in North Yorkshire, England, is the original.…
“It takes a flood to break a drought”
"It takes a flood to break/end a drought" is an old weather saying of uncertain origin. "It takes a flood to end a drought and it takes a drought to end a flood" was cited in a…
Spellebrity (spelling bee + celebrity)
"Spellebrity" ("spelling bee" + celebrity) refers to a notable contestant in a spelling bee, such as the Scripps National Spelling Bee. The E.W. Scripps Company trademarked…
“Baseball must be a great game to survive the people who run it”
Sportswriter Arthur Daley (1904-1976) wrote in "Sports of the Times" in the New York (NY) Times of November 10, 1964: "As some sage once wrote: Baseball must be a great game to…
“99 little bugs in the code” (programming joke)
The song "99 Bottles of Beer" goes: 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer.Take one down, pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall... A computer version that has been…
“I want to grow my own food, but no one makes pizza seeds”
"I want to grow my own food, but no one makes pizza seeds" is a jocular one-line saying. "I want to grow my own food but no one makes pizza seeds" was cited on Twitter on…
“Smoked salmon should be sliced so thin, you can read the New York Times through it”
"Smoked salmon should be sliced so thin, you can read the New York Times through it" is an old saying of unknown authorship. "The cucumbers...should be sliced so thin you can read…