“The score is still 0-0—you haven’t missed anything” (joke)
An old joke is about a young couple arriving very late to a baseball game. The man asks for the score and is told that it's still 0-0. The woman then declares, "Good! We haven't…
Archive for 07/2014
“Conservatives believe life begins at conception and ends at birth”
Barney Frank, a Democratic Congressman from Massachusetts, said in 1981 that, for the Reagan administration and the Moral Majority, "’life begins at conception and ends at birth." The…
Raging Moderate
"Raging moderate" is a political term that appears to be an oxymoron. Tennessee Senator Al Gore, Jr. was running for the Democratic presidential nomination in April 1987 when he described…
“We have to find the people who did this—they need help!” (joke about liberals)
According to a popular joke, two psychiatrists (or two liberals) pass by a man who was just attacked and left bleeding in a ditch. One says to the other, "We must find the people who did this!…
“If you want something in the paper, that’s advertising; you want something kept out, that’s news”
"Whatever a man wants published is advertising; whatever he wants kept out of the paper is news" is an old newspaper saying of unknown authorship. The following appears to have been…
“Throw away the fish, eat the plank” (joke)
Carp is not a fish that many people choose to eat. A jocular recipe details a long preparation, ending, "throw away the fish and eat the board/plank/shingle. This is said to be the best part…
Studs and Duds (player acquisition strategy)
"Studs and duds" is a player acquisition strategy that is especially popular in constructing fantasy sports teams. A few high-priced "studs" are acquired, and then low-priced…
Stars and Scrubs (player acquisition strategy)
"Stars and scrubs" is a player acquisition strategy that is especially popular in constructing fantasy sports teams. A few high-priced "stars" are acquired, and then low-priced…
“If you don’t believe in random sampling, go to the doctor for a blood test, have him take it all”
Random sampling" is done by many polling organizations, such as those that conduct political polls. Some people believe that the sample size is small and that it doesn't reflect the…
“Please Eat The Activist” (PETA backronym)
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) is an animal rights organization, founded in 1980. "Please Eat The Activist" is a PETA backronym (back acronym) that has been cited in…
Disneyland for Wall Street (Manhattan)
Disneyland (a Disney theme park in Anaheim, California) is often used as a metonym for "fantasy land." Michael Krieger, of the Liberty Blitzkrieg website, described Manhattan as…
“The first thing I do each morning is to read the obituaries” (joke)
"The first thing I do each morning is to read the obituaries in the newspaper," an old person often jokes. "If I don't see my name, I go make breakfast." "When I get…
“How did the hipster burn his tongue?” (joke)
"How did the hipster burn his tongue?" is a popular joke, with the answer being that the hipster had coffee or pizza "before it was cool." "I tried being a hipster by…
“Why don’t lions like fast food?” (joke)
"Fast food" means food that is prepared quickly -- not animals that are fast or slow. "Why doesn't a lion like fast food?" is a joke that was on Twitter on August 15, 2012.…
“Head in the oven, feet in the freezer” (statistician joke on “averaging”)
A popular joke about the statistical "average" involves the statistician who put his head in an oven and his feet in a freezer, saying, "On average, I feel fine." The joke…
“Advertising is what you pay for; publicity is what you pray for”
"Advertising is what you pay for; publicity (or public relations) is what you pray for" is a popular business saying. "Advertising is what you pay for; publicity is what your public…
Cupcakery (cupcake + bakery)
A "cupcakery" (cupcake + bakery) is a bakery that specializes in cupcakes. The term "cupcakery" has been cited in print since at least 2001. Many establishments have…
“So far, so good!” (Empire State Building jumper joke)
A joke is told about the "optimist" who fell or jumped off New York City's Empire State Building. As he was falling many floors, someone asked, "How's it going?" He…
“Minor surgery is surgery that happens to someone else”
"Minor surgery is surgery that happens to someone else" is an old medical joke. "Surgery is only minor if it happens to someone else" was mentioned as an "old joke" in…
“Great trade! Who’d we get?”
Philadelphia Phillies baseball player Lenny Dykstra was told, in December 1991, that teammate Von Hayes had been traded. Dykstra said: "Hey, that's a great trade, who did we get?"…