“When someone said I was as keen as mustard, I took it as a condiment”
“He said, ‘You remind me of a pepper pot.’ I said, ‘I’ll take that as a condiment’” is a joke that has been told by many British comedians. There are other condiment variations.…
Alphebetical for "w"
“When someone says, ‘You won’t believe what I saw on the news!’ Correct”
"When someone says, 'You won't believe what I saw on the news!' Correct" is a meme that has been printed on many images. That is, someone thinks that the news has something…
“When someone tells me it’s easy peasy lemon squeezy, but for me it’s always stressy, depressy, lemon zesty”
“Easy peasy lemon squeezy” is a way of saying that something is easy. "Difficult difficult lemon difficult" (or "When you thought everything would be easy peasy lemon squeezy,…
“When someone tells me they aren’t a dog person, all I hear is blah, blah, blah, I’m a psychopath”
Not everyone likes dogs, and those who do like dogs often cannot relate to this sentiment. This was posted on X/Twitter by Stacey on June 20, 2017, and received over 12,000 likes: "When…
“When someone tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football”
"When someone tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football" is a saying that has been printed on several images. The saying has been cited in print since at least 1979…
“When someone told me I lived in a fantasy land, I nearly fell off my unicorn”
"When someone told me I lived in a fantasy land/world, I nearly fell off my unicorn" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I was out riding with my girlfriend.…
“When the airplane door shuts & the seat next to you is open it feels like you just won the lottery”
"When the plane door shuts and there’s still an empty seat next to you" (with a picture of a relieved person) is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Cabin doors closed…
“When the alcohol starts tasting like you don’t have social anxiety anymore”
"Who knows how to dance merengue?" is spoken by Gabby in a five-second TikTok video by peachesandthemangoz on April 28, 2022. "When the alcohol starts tasting like you don't…
“When the axe came into the forest, the trees said: ‘The handle is one of us’” (proverb)
A proverb about voting has been printed on many images. An axe comes into the forest; because its handle is wood, the trees were comforted. The mission of the axe, of course, was to destroy the…
“When the Berlin Wall fell, which side did the people run to?”
Germany's Berlin Wall separated east and west Germany from 1961 until 1989, When the wall came down, most people escaped communist East Berlin into West Berlin. “Youth ask your history…
“When the boy was making pancakes, why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it”
A pancake riddle is: Q: When the little boy was making pancakes why did the batter run away?A: Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it. The jokes differ on whether it is the boy/baker or the…
“When the butter melted, it was rendered useless”
"Rendered butter" is a process (rendering) that creates more concentrated butter. It is not related to the expression "to render (something) useless," but there are puns.…
“When the cannibal came late for dinner, they gave him the cold shoulder”
"Cold shoulder" originally meant cold cuts of meat -- not literally a person's shoulder -- but there's a popular cannibal joke: "What did the cannibal get when he was late…
“When the cave people went to the cave bar and asked for a drink on the rocks, they meant it”
"On the rocks" (on ice) is usually not taken literally -- except in some jokes. The American television sitcom New Girl, the episode "What About Fred" that originally aired on…
“When the CIA joined Twitter, their first tweet said, ‘We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet’”
The Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) joined Twitter in 2014. "We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet" was posted on X/Twitter by CIA on June 6, 2014. "When the…
“When the citizens question their government, it’s called a conspiracy theory”
"When the government questions its citizens for suspicions of a crime, it's called an investigation. When the citizens question their government, it's called a conspiracy theory.…
“When the computer asks ‘Are you a robot?’ maybe he’s just looking for his family”
Computers often query users, "Are you a robot?" "When computers ask 'are you a robot' they might just be trying to find their family..." was posted on Reddit --…
“When the ducks quack, feed them” (Wall Street proverb)
Wall Street is in business to make money; when investors want to buy something (such as an initial public offering), that something is offered for sale. It doesn't make any difference if Wall…
“When the economic tide goes out, you find out who is swimming naked” (Warren Buffett?)
"When the economic tide goes out, you find out who is swimming naked" is a colorful quotation that's often attributed to investor Warren Buffett. Buffett did use the phrase by at…
“When the enemy cannot destroy you, his job is to distract you”
"The enemy doesn’t have to defeat you. All they have to do is distract you" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "If the enemy can't destroy you he'll…