“When I see cows, I will make an announcement to the rest of the car that there are cows”
Many people can't drive past cows without saying "cows" or "moo." "You're never too old to say 'cows' when you drive past some cows" was posted on…
Alphebetical for "w"
“When I suck in my belly where does the fat go? And why can’t science make it stay there?”
"Dear Science, when I suck in my tummy, where does the fat go and why doesn't it stay there?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "U know when u suck in…
“When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance”
Several businesses require pay in advance. A popular 1915 joke involves a doctor: She -- I saw the doctor today about my loss of memory.He -- What did he do?She -- Made me pay in advance. -- London…
“When I was a child, we had a clock made out of stone. Those were hard times”
"Hard times" doesn't usually involve a stone clock, but there are jokes. "RT @walteroho: Hard times like a stone clock #boss my #punchline :D" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“When I was a kid “the server is down” meant your waiter was depressed”
"When I was a kid "the server is down" meant your waiter was depressed" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "Ha! RT @CancerIsAwesome: When I was a…
“When I was a kid, everything was handed to me on a silver platter. Soup was a nightmare”
The expression to "have life handed on a silver platter/plate" means to be given the best things, without having to work very hard. The expression is usually not taken literally, but…
“When I was a kid, my social network was called ‘outside’”
"When I was a kid, my social network was called 'outside'" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "back in the day, a social network was called a front…
“When I was a kid, there was no Internet. So people would walk miles to call me an asshole”
"When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk for miles to call me a/an asshole/bastard/bitch/cunt" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The internet…
“When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk miles to call me a bastard”
"When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk for miles to call me a/an asshole/bastard/bitch/cunt" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The internet…
“When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk miles to call me a bitch”
"When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk for miles to call me a/an asshole/bastard/bitch/cunt" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The internet…
“When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk miles to call me a cunt”
"When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk for miles to call me a/an asshole/bastard/bitch/cunt" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The internet…
“When I was a single man, I had lots of free time. Then I started listening to whole albums”
A "single" man doesn't necessarily listen to single songs, but there are jokes. "When I was a single man, I had lots of free time. Then I started listening to whole albums, and…
“When I was at school, people used to throw gold bars at me. I was the victim of bullion”
Some people at school are victims of bullying. English comedian Tim Vine has used this joke in his act since at least 2008: "When I was at school, people used to throw gold bars at me. I was…
“When I was at school, people used to throw gold bars at me. I was the victim of bullion”
Some people at school are victims of bullying. English comedian Tim Vine has used this joke in his act since at least 2008: "When I was at school, people used to throw gold bars at me. I was…
“When I was in school a policeman came in & did a talk on drugs. I didn’t understand a word he said”
People often are invited to schools to talk to children about drugs. Some people talk on drugs. "When I was at school, a policeman came in and did a talk on drugs. Couldn't understand a…
“When I was in the army I killed more men than anybody. I was the cook”
"When I was in the army I killed more men than anybody. I was the cook" is a classic joke. ' "When I was in the army I killed four hundred men. I was the cook" was printed…
“When I was older, I used to love playing around with time machines”
"When I was older, I used to love playing around with time machines" is a time travel joke that went viral on August 26, 2010. The joke was posted on Twitter this day by sickipediabot…
“When I was young, I had everything handed to me on a plate. Soup was a nightmare”
The expression to "have life handed on a silver platter/plate" means to be given the best things, without having to work very hard. The expression is usually not taken literally, but…
“When I was young, I was poor. But after years of hard, honest work, I’m no longer young”
"When I was young, I was poor. But after years of hard, honest work, I'm happy to inform I'm no longer young" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“When I was young, we were so poor we sometimes only had bits of old rope to eat. I would often skip lunch”
To "skip lunch" means to "miss" lunch, but a joke uses "skip" literally. "When I was young we were so poor we sometimes only had bits of old rope to eat. I would…