“When I was a child, we had a clock made out of stone. Those were hard times”
"Hard times" doesn't usually involve a stone clock, but there are jokes. "RT @walteroho: Hard times like a stone clock #boss my #punchline :D" was posted on X/Twitter by…
Alphebetical for "w"
“When I was a kid “the server is down” meant your waiter was depressed”
"When I was a kid "the server is down" meant your waiter was depressed" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "Ha! RT @CancerIsAwesome: When I was a…
“When I was a kid, everything was handed to me on a silver platter. Soup was a nightmare”
The expression to "have life handed on a silver platter/plate" means to be given the best things, without having to work very hard. The expression is usually not taken literally, but…
“When I was a kid, my social network was called ‘outside’”
"When I was a kid, my social network was called 'outside'" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "back in the day, a social network was called a front…
“When I was a kid, there was no Internet. So people would walk miles to call me an asshole”
"When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk for miles to call me a/an asshole/bastard/bitch/cunt" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The internet…
“When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk miles to call me a bastard”
"When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk for miles to call me a/an asshole/bastard/bitch/cunt" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The internet…
“When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk miles to call me a bitch”
"When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk for miles to call me a/an asshole/bastard/bitch/cunt" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The internet…
“When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk miles to call me a cunt”
"When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk for miles to call me a/an asshole/bastard/bitch/cunt" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The internet…
“When I was a single man, I had lots of free time. Then I started listening to whole albums”
A "single" man doesn't necessarily listen to single songs, but there are jokes. "When I was a single man, I had lots of free time. Then I started listening to whole albums, and…
“When I was at school, people used to throw gold bars at me. I was the victim of bullion”
Some people at school are victims of bullying. English comedian Tim Vine has used this joke in his act since at least 2008: "When I was at school, people used to throw gold bars at me. I was…
“When I was at school, people used to throw gold bars at me. I was the victim of bullion”
Some people at school are victims of bullying. English comedian Tim Vine has used this joke in his act since at least 2008: "When I was at school, people used to throw gold bars at me. I was…
“When I was in school a policeman came in & did a talk on drugs. I didn’t understand a word he said”
People often are invited to schools to talk to children about drugs. Some people talk on drugs. "When I was at school, a policeman came in and did a talk on drugs. Couldn't understand a…
“When I was in the army I killed more men than anybody. I was the cook”
"When I was in the army I killed more men than anybody. I was the cook" is a classic joke. ' "When I was in the army I killed four hundred men. I was the cook" was printed…
“When I was older, I used to love playing around with time machines”
"When I was older, I used to love playing around with time machines" is a time travel joke that went viral on August 26, 2010. The joke was posted on Twitter this day by sickipediabot…
“When I was young, I had everything handed to me on a plate. Soup was a nightmare”
The expression to "have life handed on a silver platter/plate" means to be given the best things, without having to work very hard. The expression is usually not taken literally, but…
“When I was young, I was poor. But after years of hard, honest work, I’m no longer young”
"When I was young, I was poor. But after years of hard, honest work, I'm happy to inform I'm no longer young" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“When I was young, we were so poor we sometimes only had bits of old rope to eat. I would often skip lunch”
To "skip lunch" means to "miss" lunch, but a joke uses "skip" literally. "When I was young we were so poor we sometimes only had bits of old rope to eat. I would…
“When I was younger, I had everything handed to me on a plate. Soup was a nightmare”
The expression to "have life handed on a silver platter/plate" means to be given the best things, without having to work very hard. The expression is usually not taken literally, but…
“When I was your age, I had to walk through 10 feet of shag carpet to change the TV channel”
"When I was your age, I had to walk through 10 feet of shag carpet to change the TV channel" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. “I used to walk five miles to and…
“When I’m at Chipotle, l always wait until after the employee puts the first scoop of chicken on my burrito…”
When someone at a food establishment orders one scoop of something, it's often a large scoop. However, when they order two scoops, they often get two smaller scoops. To prevent this, they…