“When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner”
"When I grow up, I'd like to be a retired lottery winner" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "When I grow up I'd like to be a 'Retired…
Alphebetical for "w"
“When I have to fill out a form asking who to call in case of an emergency, I always write an ambulance…”
Many forms ask who to call in case of an emergency. "Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, 'An…
“When I hear somebody sigh that ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’”
"When I hear somebody sigh that 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'" is a jocular line about life's troubles that has been printed on…
“When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water”
"When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask(s) for water" is a jocular saying that has been printed on man yimages. Many people play favorite songs over and over,…
“When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and asks for water”
"When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask(s) for water" is a jocular saying that has been printed on man yimages. Many people play favorite songs over and over,…
“When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a housewarming party and now I’m homeless”
A "housewarming party" no longer involves making a house warm, but there are jokes. "When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party. Now I'm…
“When I needed a hand I found your paw…that’s why you’re so precious to me”
"When I needed a hand, I found your paw" (or "When I needed a hand, I found a paw") is a pet saying that has been printed on many images. Photos of dogs and cats often accompany…
“When I needed a hand, I found a paw”
"When I needed a hand, I found your paw" (or "When I needed a hand, I found a paw") is a pet saying that has been printed on many images. Photos of dogs and cats often accompany…
“When I needed a hand, I found your paw”
"When I needed a hand, I found your paw" (or "When I needed a hand, I found a paw") is a pet saying that has been printed on many images. Photos of dogs and cats often accompany…
“When I open my first business, I’m only hiring trans women. Men’s strength, Women’s wages”
"When I open my first business, I'm only hiring trans women. Men's strength, Women's wages" is a joke that has been printed on many images. Authorship of the meme is…
“When I order Amazon chicken pellets, I get an email a few days later asking for their feed back!”
"Feedback" should not be confused with "feed back," but there are puns. This joke was posted on Sickipedia on August 15, 2019: "I've had it with Amazon. Every time I…
“When I order pizza online and there’s a ‘Notes’ box, I put ‘Ring bell, Cross moat, SLAY DRAGON’”
An online food delivery order often has a "notes" or "special instructions" space, so the ordering party can inform the delivery person of the procedure at that address (such as…
“When I poop at an international airport, I say, ‘doody free,’ as I flush”
"Duty free" shouldn't be confused with "doody free," but there are jokes. "I love clean airport jokes! They are always doody free" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading”
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading" is a joke that has been included in many collections of sayings about drinking. The joke has been cited in print since at…
“When I said ‘nuke the Chinese,’ I meant put the takeout in the microwave”
Microwave cooking is called "nuking." A joke has been printed on many images: "When I said 'nuke the Chinese,' I meant put the takeout in the microwave." "Time to…
“When I said butter, I actually meant ghee. I should have clarified”
Ghee is a class of clarified butter that originated in India. "When I said butter, I actually meant ghee. I should have clarified" was posted on Twitter by Sanjeev Kohli on April 10,…
“When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed”
"When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "My version of a clean room, a…
“When I say ‘I’ll figure it out’ I mean I’ll just adapt to whatever new level of hell is coming”
People often say "I'll figure it out" when they see something new. This was posted on X/Twitter by Mike Primavera on July 12, 2023: "When I say 'I'll figure it…
“When I say I go to the gym religiously, I mean every Christmas and Easter”
To do something "religiously" usually means to do it regularly and well -- to please God. However, not everyone is religious. "Tell people you go to the gym religiously When they…
“When I see a bruised apple at the grocery store, I hold it close & whisper, ‘Who did this to you?’”
Bruised fruit usually can't be blamed on a bully, but there's a joke. "When I see a bruised apple at the market, I give it a soft hug and whisper, 'Who did this to…