“What do you call an emo vegetable?”/“A despair-agus.”
"Despairagus" (despair + asparagus) is a portmanteau word that has been called the "saddest vegetable." The word "despairagus" was used in the newsgroup rec.humor in…
Alphebetical for "w"
“What do you call an empty hot dog?/“A halloweenie.”
A Halloween hot dog riddle is: Q: What do you call an empty hot dog?A: A hollow weenie. "WHY IS TODAY LIKE AN EMPTY HOT DOG? (...) BECAUSE IT'S HALLOWEENIE!" was printed in "The…
“What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz?”/“Cheese was.”
Cheez Whiz (often misspelled as Cheese Whiz or Cheese Wiz) is a processed cheese sauce and the subject of a popular food pun: Q: What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz?A: Cheese was.…
“What do you call an enchilada in England?”/“A centimeterilada.”
There are no inches in the word "enchilada," but there are jokes about a "centimeterlada" or "centimeterilada." "Is this an enchilada or a centimeterlada?"…
“What do you call an Englishman in the World Cup final?”/“The referee.”
A soccer joke is: Q: What do you call an Englishman in the World Cup final?A: The referee. "What do you call an Englishman in the final of Euro 96?" was cited in June 1996. The…
“What do you call an eternity?”/“Four blondes in four cars at a four way stop.”
A popular "dumb blonde" joke is: Q: What do you call eternity?A: Four blondes in four cars at a four way stop. The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on March 30, 1994. Google…
“What do you call an everyday potato?”/“A commentator.”
The potato has a few "-tater" jokes, such as: Q: What do you call an everyday potato?A: A commentator. "Common-tater" was cited in print in 1991. "Definition of a…
“What do you call an expired avocado?”/“Guaca-moldy.”
"Guacamoldy" (guacamole + moldy) is a portmanteau word that is used for guacamole and/or avocado. A riddle was posted in the Wisconsin State Journal (Madison, WI) on April 5, 2004: Q:…
“What do you call an ice cream truck operator?”/“A sundae driver.”
A "Sunday driver" is someone who drives slowly (and often poorly), There are several puns about a "sundae driver." An early pun involves a driver who eats ice cream. "A…
“What do you call an indecisive potato?”/“A hesi-tater.”
Potatoes are called "taters." There are many "hesitator" -- or "hesitater" -- puns. "What do you call a potato that takes it's time?? A hesitater...…
“What do you call an Instagram celebrity who got coronavirus?”/“An influenzer.”
Social media has "influencers." "Influenzer" (influenza + influencer) is an obvious portmanteau word. "What the hell is an influenzer? Did this nigga just call me the flu?…
“What do you call an IQ of 160 in the marines?”/“A platoon.”
A riddle (told two ways) makes fun of the Marines. "Hey, John, what do you call a Marine with an IQ of 112? A Platoon" was posted on the newsgroup alt.tasteless.jokes on October 12, 1998.…
“What do you call an Irishman hanging from the ceiling?”/“Sean D’Olier.”
"Chandelier" isn't an Irish word, but there are several Irish puns. "Q. What do you call an Irishman hanging from the ceiling? A. Sean de Lier" was posted on the newsgroup…
“What do you call an Irishman who won’t stop bouncing off the walls?”/“Rick O’Shea.”
The word "ricochet" is sometimes punned into the Irish name "Ric/Rick O'Shay/O'Shea." "What do you call an Irishman who always returns? Rick O'Shay" was…
“What do you call an irritated lobster?”/“A frustracean.”
A lobster riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on December 28, 2019: Q: What do you call an annoyed lobster?A: A frustacean. "Frustacean" (frustration + crustacean) is a portmanteau…
“What do you call an island populated entirely by cupcakes?”/“A desserted island.”
People often confuse a "desert" island with a "dessert" island. "What do you call an island that tastes good? A Desserted island" was posted on Twitter on July 8,…
“What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?”/“A PDF file.”
"PDF file" sounds -- perhaps unfortunately -- like "pedophile." "What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?A PDF File http://bit.ly/1icZw4o via…
“What do you call an Italian search engine?”/“Bada Bing.”
"Bada bing" is slang that was used in the film The Godfather (1972) and the American crime drama television series The Sopranos. Both entertainments involved Italian-American gangster…
“What do you call an opossum who goes back for seconds in the soup line?”/“A more-soup-ial.”
"Marsupial" has nothing to do with soup, but there are "more-soup-ial" jokes. Some jokes connect to the Charles Dickens's 1838 novel Oliver Twist and musical Oliver! (1960,…
“What do you call an overpriced sushi restaurant?”/“A raw deal.”
The expression "raw deal" doesn't usually involve raw seafood, but there are jokes. "There's an 'eat as much as you like for £4' special at my local sushi…