“Two banks with different rates have a conflict of interest”
"Two banks with different rates have a conflict of interest" is a jocular banking one-liner. The pun appeared in Stan Kegel's "'Puns of the Weak' 11/10/00" on the…
Alphebetical for "t"
“Two blondes walk into a building. You’d think one of them would have seen it”
"Two men walk into a bar. You’d think the second one would have seen it" is a classic bar joke. A similar joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on October 8, 1997: "Two…
“Two can eat as cheaply as one”
The saying "two can live as cheaply as one" has been cited in print since at least the 1890s. "Two can eat as cheaply as one" has been cited in print since at least 1927.…
“Two Canadian body builders were working out at the gym…” (joke)
Canadians have a reputation for saying "sorry" and "eh." "'So sore, eh.' - Some Canadian who's a little funny" was posted on Twitter on December 8,…
“Two cats sit on a roof. Which falls off first?”/“The one with the smaller mu.”
A popular math joke is: Q: Two cats are sitting on a sloping roof. Which one falls off first?A: The one with the smallest mu. The Greek letter mu stands for the coefficient of friction. The cat…
“Two chemists walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular science joke that has been printed on many images is: Two men walk into a bar.One…
“Two choices: take it or leave it” (food menu joke)
"Today's Menu: Take it or Leave it" is a humorous saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as wall plaques and posters. The joke dates to at least 1944, when "take…
“Two clowns are eating a cannibal” (joke)
“Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?"/"Because they taste funny!” is a classic joke. "Met someone today who accidentally started the joke 'Two clowns are eating a…
“Two condoms walk past a gay bar…” (joke)
To be "shit-faced" drunk is to be very drunk. A politically incorrect joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on May 31, 1991: "These two condoms are walking down the street, and…
“Two conspiracy theorists die and go to heaven…” (9/11 joke)
"Two conspiracy theorists die and go to heaven..." is the start of a joke that had been cited in print since at least 2008. The conspiracy theorists ask God who did the September 11, 2001…
“Two Corinthians walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A New Testament version is: "Two Corinthians walk into a bar..." The Second…
“Two crisps are walking down the road…” (Walkers crisps joke)
Walkers crisps (potato chips) are the most popular brand in the UK. A "walker" joke is told about Walkers. This was posted on the newsgroup eunet.jokes on September 10, 1991: "A guy…
“Two crows walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." There are several crow versions, some involving a "crowbar" and others involving…
“Two deer walk out of a gay bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A deer version is: "Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One turns to the other and says,…
“Two dragons walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A dragon version is: "Two dragons walk into a bar. One dragon says, 'It’s warm…
“Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Ba-Dum-Tss”
The rimshot became famous as a drummer's support of a comedian after a (usually bad or unusually corny) joke. The drum sounds are written as "boom boom" and "ba dum tss."…
“Two elephants and a snake fall off a cliff. Boom-Boom-Tss”
The rimshot became famous as a drummer's support of a comedian after a (usually bad or unusually corny) joke. The drum sounds are written as "boom boom" and "ba dum tss."…
“Two elephants and cymbals fall off a cliff. Boom-Boom-Tss”
The rimshot became famous as a drummer's support of a comedian after a (usually bad or unusually corny) joke. The drum sounds are written as "boom boom" and "ba dum tss."…
“Two elephants walk off a cliff. Boom boom!”
The rimshot became famous as a drummer's support of a comedian after a (usually bad or unusually corny) joke. The drum sounds are written as "boom boom" and "ba dum tss."…
“Two elves walk into a bar. A dwarf walks under it” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An elf version is: "Two elves walk into a bar. The dwarf laughs and walks under…